crescent

It was very dramatic like Anchees said. I liked it. You might want to add a little bit more to the story, make it longer possibly. His teeth that she ...

Hi. I read the story that goes before this one. I'd love to love this your series, but I have no idea what is going on. Why did Zane want ...

Hi. It's me again. I like the idea. Romance and mermaids. I don't want to be harsh, but here are some of the nitpicks I found. I'm not sure if ...

I like it too, especially the end of the chapter. It leaves the reader at a cliff hanger. Borntobeawriter, tanya, seems to have caught everything. :) Off to the next ...

I really liked your piece. I agree with the previous people though, you need to smooth out the edges a bit to make it run more smoothly. I'm just curious, ...

Hello Classy. First off, I'd like to say I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was interesting. Be confident of yourself, it was excellent and well thought out. Sencondly, I ...

Hello Rocki!!! Okay, I really liked the idea. You have quite some talent. I can't wait to read more. There are quite a few grammatical errors though. I know we ...

Hello. Congrats! It's day two and you've already posted your first piece! :) I like it so far too. I couldn't find any errors either except I thought you could ...

Hi. My name is... Well I haven't decided my name yet, but I will be your reviewer and pretend that I don't know you. :wink: So anyways, I liked this ...

Okay, I thought that was well-written. I liked it but it was kind of creepy. I agree with Dreamy, some parts are not exactly realistic. Girls don't really push guys ...

I like it a ton too. It's pretty realistic except for the fact that Charlotte and Henry shake hands. Most teens don't do that unless it's with an adult. Also, ...

Wow. that was amazing. :) I can't wait to see what comes next. Why did he tell her to let go and fall off the building? PM me when the ...

I agree with the other posts. You need to decide which tense you want to use, present or past. You also need to make Lyndon sound more like a kid. ...

I agree with Lava. I don't know if you've read, heard, or seen twilight before, but your story is almost exactly like it. The "Edward" just looks different, more like ...

Okay, the first thing I have to say is your story was amazing. The second thing I have to say is there were some confusing areas in your story, particularly ...