"Kaylee, I want to be yours forever. And I want you to be mine.”
“You already have me.” I told him honestly. In truth, he had me at hello.
I felt my heart beat fast against my chest as I looked Brayden in the eyes. His warm hand caressed my face as the unwanted tears started to form. I knew exactly what was about to happen. Brayden slowly dropped down to one knee, opening a case that held the most beautiful silver band, then said the words that I had wanted him to say since I first laid eyes on him.
“Marry me?” he asked, taking my hand in his, his ocean blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight.
“Of course,” I told him, gulping to keep the tears from appearing.
The ring slipped effortlessly onto my finger, fitting as if it were made just for my hand.
My arms automatically wrapped around Brayden’s neck as he stood up. His hands wrapped gently around my waist. He was much taller than me so my head rested against his chest.
He brought his head level to mine, out foreheads touching.
“I love you, so much.” He said, tracing my lips with his index finger.
“I love you too, forever and always.” I sighed with pleasure as his lips met mine, an effortless movement that had happened so many times before, but this time it was like a new world was opening. As of now, he was no longer just a boyfriend, he was my fiancé, my soon to be husband. And knowing that, made that simple kiss feel like the start of a new beginning.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Hello. Congrats! It's day two and you've already posted your first piece!
I like it so far too. I couldn't find any errors either except I thought you could of been a little more descriptive in this sentence.
Maybe you could describe the band a little more or differently. i.g. Tell the reader what made the ring so beatiful.
Overall, I quite enjoyed reading this piece and hope that you will pm me when you post another chapter.
Hello and welcome to YWS
Sorry for the miss info, the 2:1 ratio isnit pushed any more, but it's encouraged to review so please do
Review: Frankly this piece isn't quite long enough for a huge review, and there werent many grammatical errors. I liked it alot and would love it if you PM me when you post more of this story.
I really like the idea of this. Your style was good and the description was just right. post more please
Have a great day and if you have any questions please feel free to PM me,
Tiffany