chichi

This is chapter one, right? Well, your entire novel isn't going to be very long at this rate. You could have devoted a whole chapter to the earthlings actually being ...

Not a very original idea. I have seen so many of these types of poems, some even by myself. It's not even the best "writer's block" poem I've ever read. ...

Where did you get this idea?!?! I'm seriously feeling hopeless now. I have to agree with Krupp, the two lines that rhyme really throw the reader out. Plus, that rhyme ...

This is quite a good poem, although a couple of things scream "SCHOOL PROJECT!" 1. You saying it's a school project. 2. The "yet already". Please, please, no! 3. Actually, ...

Sorry, but I don't get what this story is about. At the beginning it sounds like there will be an actual camping trip in the story, but apparently it's just ...

This was well written, however there were some faults. Knock First: Don't Say I Didn't Worn Ya It's "Warn". "Worn" means to wear in the past tense. It was only ...

This is very good. The imagery was very clear and I don't find it dinky at all. Lots of new writers make this mistake, and I mean lots. You used ...

I didn't like this. The idea and all is okay, but the execution was... well, poor. Lots of the rhymes are forced. The rhymes sometimes don't make sense. You need ...

Nothing ultimately spectacular, but it made me smile. :) The last line missed the rhythm, it had too many syllables. Never a good thing. The rhymes feel a little forced, ...

That was a truly beautiful poem. I love the way you bring us into this world with your imagery and words. Only one thing I can possibly say. It's a ...

A great start! I don't believe this was your first poem. There are only a couple of things I can say. Pleading. Take me with you she says That needs ...

I think all the previous replies are very valid, so I'm not going to go through all the little spelling and grammar stuff. I'm just wondering how much research into ...

This was a bit short (I'm guessing it's more of a teaser than an entire story) but it looks like the makings of a great novel. I'm also guessing that ...