charcoalspacewolfman

Well, my initial reaction is, "This seems like it should be haunting, but it's not." I think if you have something more happen, then it might be better. As it ...

So the guy before me already mentioned the asterisks. If you're going to have a narration, based on what the second character is hearing, you should have quotation marks. The ...

I suppose there's a message there. Like; stop dawdling, dipwad. Or maybe, bring a medical kit, dipwad. Or any number of things, I suppose. You have a great propensity for ...

So I'm not very sure about the realism of this story. I've never been to a regular school, so I probably have much too much faith in my fellow man ...

*tsk* shoulda stayed home. I wonder why they didn't call the police, but considering stupid decisions advance the story I won't harp on it. I think you did a good ...

Haha! Yeah, I think rabbits are evil, too, they just seem like serial killers, don't they? They're the last things you'd expect in a murder. I find the logistics a ...

Well, hello there, beautiful. Someone said that "Christian" is actually derogatory, and I think that's quite true. Saying instead that you are a "follower of Christ" is more descriptive and ...

I would say it's cute, because for some odd reason I like crying, but it's supposed to be sad, so! I love dreams, especially nightmares, since those are the "interesting" ...

Sounds like this could go someplace, but there are a few problems. First, the conversation seems too short, like it's been cut off in the middle. Basically, he said one ...

Yeah, I wondered why your story was "Danke," then I noticed the comments and it all became clear. Well, sort of. It was confusing for a little while, and I ...

The Black Cauldron. I loved that movie. I thought it was awesome. Then I read the book and discovered that Disney screwed it up . I mean, sure, Gurgi is ...

Well, it seems to me your style of doing battle is by suspense. I mean, if you're going for fast-paced action, you don't appear to do that particularly well. Like ...

This is a very interesting little world. Very quaint and faintly sinister, very much like Serum 208. I liked the way you described the chemist's work and the various things ...

So I realize that this is three months after the last post...oh well. If you'd like a book kinda similar to Tolkien, there's a series called "The Foundling's Tale" by ...

...and then I got to the end and everything fit nicely into the lovely explanation that they're vampires or something creepy like that . You did a good job keeping ...