carmenbluestar

This is a cool piece, your setting has a very interesting feel that you've conveyed clearly to all of us. You already have some great suggestions so I'll be brief ...

Wow a I that was pretty cool. Dark as it may be there's a story here waiting to happen, so that's pretty cool. I would love to know the motivation ...

When it comes to the structures of poetry I'm not one that can give much advice so instead I'll tell who what I thought overall. Usually long poems aren't really ...

Dark but interesting. That was my primary opinion, but with a few more reads I feel so much more coming from this poem. It's good and meaningful and you should ...

I like this work, it's really a neat read. A few points is that there are a typo or two and then if I were you I'd give it a ...

I only had time to read the first bit but I like the direction you're going in. Real stories should paint a picture that readers can fall into and that's ...