carelessaussie13

This poem has very good imagery, so bravo, but the world 'mash' seems out of place, less romantic and passionate and more five-year-old-ish. Also, the ending kind of drifts off, ...

I love these poems about friendship because everyone has a different way of looking at their friends. This was a beautiful poem, but he rhyme seemed kind of forced to ...

This could work very well, except that you make us, the reader, see this boy as a loser, geek, freak, just like everybody else does. Does this boy really not ...

This was beautifully done, the way you made the first stanzas with their technological words sound poetic and then wrapped it up with something as pure as the last two ...

This was out of this world. I loved it. The only this was that the ending seemed sort of abrupt. I can't exactly think of a better way to wrap ...

The verses that worked (1 and 3) were really, really good. I especially likes the first stanza. But then you got off track in your rhyme on the second one, ...

This is a very good poem but a few things seemed off to me. The comparison between the bubbles and this person's life seemed to obscure; I would just stick ...

This was very good, but it seemed to stretch on too long with the same idea, which, by the way, is a good idea. It needs something to capture the ...

um. . .either this poem has some deep (very deep) meaning or I'm stupid. No offense, this poem sounds like something a third grader wrote when his teacher said "write ...

You seem to be a prizoner to your own rhyme, as if you just wrote the second or fourth line of some stanzas simply because you needed something to rhyme ...

It's a great thought, so kudos on that front, but to be frank your lack of obvious rhythm was a little unappetizing. I don't mean to be rude, I just ...

Nice. I agree with piepiemann that the last line is really abrupt, and with fireweed that the message should be subtler. Also the second two lines, about the uniform, I ...

I'm not quite sure what you were attempting here, but you certainly achieved something. I really got a picture of a bored business man at a diner and the stuff ...

You know how it gets when you sort of scan a poem without caring much? Most of the poem was that way (very very good, but nothing that kept me ...

very sweet Now on to business. You conjured up the image of a little square of ocean; try conjuring up the image of the whole ocean. Describe the whispering winds, ...