canislupis

Hmmm.. Sam pointed out the problems with your storyline as far as I can tell, but there are also some other problems tht have to do do with spelling, grammar ...

Hmm, pretty good! needs a good edit, but I liked the plot. A question I had: Why did he put the body in the dumpster? Also, I don't particularly like ...

Definitely needs to be moved to nonfiction. This section is for historical FICTION. This is more like an article or report. It seems like you're design is completely informative. But, ...

Wow. I liked this... sortof. There was a whole lot of telling, and not a lot of showing. First he did this, then he did this, and then after that ...

Hmm, again, I liked this. One thing I noticed was that you switched from first person to thrid person in the last paragraph. I also found the dialogue to be ...

Hmmm, I liked this. I agree with Kitty..... mostly. I actually didn't care for the first paragraph much, it was to straightforward. (I am this, I am that) But other ...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Not sure where you got the idea for this, but it was really good! The only negative point was that you seem to use their names a lot. (Lolly ...

It was dark. Looking around, everything was rubble. The entire place lay in ruins, buildings had crumbled. Walls were completely destroyed, and the water beds dried out. The plants, brown ...

Yes, I think you should continue it. I was intrigued. I, for once, have almost nothing negative to say. Your description is good, dialogue is smooth, characters are interesting. I ...

Wow! I liked this. However, I was confused as to what kind of um, creature i your MC is. I was preparing myself to be shocked at the end when ...

Wow! this was ok for a first story. Your plot is truly fascinating. But, you have numerous spelling and grammar mistakes throughout. If you edit your story thuroughly, then more ...

Wow, this was really good. Most of the errors I found have already been pointed out. I have to say I really liked this. The emotion felt very real, and ...

Ahh, I think I understand better now. This is really interesting. There was a bit of info drop in some places, and I also found your grammar to be a ...

I could give a complete crit on this, but it would take a while. I also think that perhaps it should be moved to non-fiction? It also was confusing grammatically. ...

I like your idea, but this could use some work. It felt like a history book up until about the third paragraph, where it started to get better. I also ...