canislupis

Nice, but I agree about making it longer. Also, is it Midnight or Twilight? I see how its possible for it to be both, but it still was confusing when ...

hiya! This sounds really interesting. Your title caught my eye cus I've been writing a piece called "Wild Heart" about wolves (Yes, I am kinda obsessed with them).... kinda similar, ...

Nice! This was a good chapter. Most of it seems to be focused on the fight thought. I really like the way you have the two opposite natures fighting inside ...

Yeah! Great title, it really caught my attention. I would suggest posting a longer bit, this doesn't really give us much action. :) Its a good size for a prologue ...

Hmm, the plot is developing. :) I don't have much time today, so this should be short. ;) I like the idea of him having conversations with himself, but something ...

I think I would also echo one of the comments I just read on "farewell" I think this is a case where too much purpleyness is NOT a good thing. ...

I think it's fine. The whole point of this piece is to give the reader a clear picture of the scene. The purpleyness works well in this kind of piece, ...

hmm, nice, especially for a first post. I'll echo what the previous reviewers said. For this short of a poem, I'd have to expect something really really good. Having a ...

Yeah, I have to say I agree with SeraphTree. Many of your actions seem to be a tad unrealistic, and though you have a nice plot, it needs to be ...

Again, you seem to have gotten quite a few replies. :) I think having the changes in bold isn't really necessary, and I would take them out, since they kept ...

Wow, That WAS long. ;) I agree with Sumi about the originality part, but I think this was pretty well written, and it flowed nicely. With something of this lenghth, ...

Hmm, Very nice!! I had a good feeling of suspense and there was excellent description. I will be working on an in-depth critique, which I will try to post some ...

Wow, It's nice to get in touch with you again. Very nice idea here, I was intrigued. Quite a few minor tense issues, which should be taken care of. THe ...

Hmm, I think prokaryote got most of the technical issues covered. It started out a bit rough, though it definitely smoothed out towards the ending. Very nice portrayal of emotion, ...

This is nice, but I agree with Ayra. One other thing I noticed was the rather obvious way you are describing things. Here is one example: "Congradulations! It's a boy!" ...