Africa seems so far away when you locate it on a map.
And an eight and a half hour plane journey really isn't that bad.
But the experience you get when you hit Kenya from the UK.
Its an experience in my life, that I will never forget.
Getting off the plane was a relief, it meant I could stretch my legs and look around a bit at the new environment.
There were palm trees in the soft glow of the street lights, and me, being a typical brit, found it hard to take in that it actually didn't look a lot different from England.
One thing I did notice though, was the feeling I got when I got off the plane. As soon as I stepped onto the runway, the humidity hit me and clung on to my skin, The jumper and the jeans I was wearing clung tightly too, and I breathed in that earthy air of Africa.
The jouney here had been eventful, myself and my five friends had to work hard for this life time opportunity. We had to raise the money to get there, and raise the money to get the equipment we needed.
But at the end of the day, it was the adventure ahead of us that motivated us to carry on.
And we were there, In the capital of Kenya itself.
Nairobi.
IN PROGRESS.....
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay this is an interesting start. We've certainly got quite the title there which seems to suggest almost something mystical going down out there although for the most part the current vibe that this is giving off here is a somewhat more normal person just happening to be on a vacation sort of vibe. That's not a bad thing of course, but we'll we've got some interesting messages coming across here to us readers.
Hmm well the vacation theme is continuing there. You're painting a nice little picture of this person trying to react and adjust to this new place and so far this is proving to be fairly intriguing here. I am excited to see where you manage to take us here.
Ooooh well this ends off on quite an exciting note there. The promise of an adventure is certainly quite a nice touch there and I am loving the direction that this appears to be slowly drifting towards here. On the whole I think you've done a pretty neat job of establishing things here with our characters and creating a nice little platform with some promise to come.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I agree with Azila and canislupus
This was interesting--it caught my attenion and held it until the end.
It is rather short though...
If you post more, I'll read & review it
Yeah! Great title, it really caught my attention. I would suggest posting a longer bit, this doesn't really give us much action.
Its a good size for a prologue though.....
So all in all, this isn't much to comment on. Maybe give us a bigger chunk later??? PM me when the next part comes out, I will be sure to review it.
Good Luck!
This is too short to critique fully, so that might be why you haven't gotten any comments yet.
Overall it's pretty good. You have an odd formatting (with one sentence in each line) and I think that was intentional, but I think that it might work better normal format. Of course, that's just my opinion and you can do whatever you want.
I think you should merge this into one sentence, thus "But the experience you get when you hit Kenya from the UK is an experience in your life that you will never forget." --note other changes I made too--
Firstly, I think this sentence is too long and should be broken up. I suggest you put a period after "skin" and before "The"
Secondly, if you don't break it up, then you should make the "t" in "The" lowercase.
"jouney" should be "journey"... and also, I might change it from "the journey HERE..." to "the journey THERE..."
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Alright! It leaves a pretty good taste in my mouth, and I actually do look forward to more. Next time post more, though, kk? This tiny bit just leaves people feeling incomplete.
Please don't take my critique too harshly, I'm just trying ho help.
...on a different note, WELCOME to the Young Writer's Society! If you have questions or want critiques, PM me and I'll help you out the best I can.
Hope this helps!
~Azila~