cammie4

Hello! Finally got a chance to sit down and critique, so here goes... First, I just have a couple of nitpicks: His mind works so much differently than anyone else ...

Well I've been reading this story since the first chapter, but I don't think I've reviewed it at all, and since I love it so much, I decided to go ...

So I'm quite liking this story. I like the idea of it, though it is a bit cliche. You can stray it away from cliche, though, by putting obstacles in. ...

Well, Periwinkle got most of it. There are a few things: His diamond white eyes met her gentle brown eyes (maybe use a different description here besides 'gentle brown,' because ...

Nice. I like how you began with her writing a story in class. That is so me! However, this was very short, and we don't know much about these characters. ...

So this seems pretty interesting. I'm loving how you've established the characters here, although I am hoping for names soon. Since this is only the preface, and it's so short, ...

This is excellent! When I read the first sentence, I thought it was in the present-day at a normal school, but as I kept reading, I found it was certainly ...

Might I just first start out by saying I'm really liking the way this story is going. You have a reasonable combination of suspense, mystery, and romance (well judging from ...

Okay, because I am a grammar freak, that's the first thing I have to say. I noticed that you don't end dailogue with a comma when there is a dialogue ...

Wow, I really liked this! It was so sweet and funny, but also serious. I don't know what you call this, maybe a dramedy? The one-sided conversations were brilliant and ...

Ooooh, I love it! Very creepy indeed. And like what's up with that Richard guy? You write splendidly (excuse my use of old-fashioned language). I could totally feel the tension ...

This is amazing! I just love the way you write. Like I can totally picture the situations and the setting and feel what Belle is feeling. It's just great. You ...

So this was pretty interesting. I love reading about gypsies, but there are not enough stories about them! Anyway, there are a few little things that might need some tweaking... ...

That was really, really sad! I love sad stories! (Don't ask why...) This was pretty well-written, although there were a few grammar mistakes and content... awkwardness (?). You mostly made ...

Okay, so first of all, I LOVE the way you write. Your metaphors and similes are amazing. My favorites: Pain surged through my body like an angry bolt of lightning. ...