bubblewrapped

I wouldnt say overdone so much as underdone, really. I agree with Mr. Everybody that it was full of nothing -- there are some beautiful and intriguing images in there, ...

Hmm. Well, it was nice, but I'm afraid some of your grammatical errors and the difficult rhyme scheme rather spoiled it for me by distracting my attention. the sun rise ...

It surprised me that I enjoyed this so much, LOL. Snoinkus picked out most of the best lines, but personally I loved the first stanza and the line that came ...

Not sure I really agree -- the formatting seemed OK to me, kind of run-out-of-breath run-on-ish but I think it kind of worked, LOL. Maybe a little bit of smoothing ...

Um... Like Fand said. Nice try. Punctuation is pretty much covered, so I'll just say something briefly about the rhyme scheme. While I'm all for alternative rhythms and unusual line ...

You're right, I reckon there's something missing too. And that seems to me to be emotion. I mean, it's *there*, but it's not getting full expression for some reason. I ...

I'm with Brad - this isnt really very poetic. That being said, your idea was lovely. Just the execution was not my style (I hate all the blood when they ...

No offense, this looks really interesting, but as it is, it's just this big run-on sentence collection in a huge block of text and (to be honest) I cant be ...

I cant imagine why nobody has reviewed this -- I quite like it! Perhaps you could change the title, though? It isnt very...promising, LOL. Anyways - to the crit! here ...

I agree, that was a weird kind of way. LOL. Overall, it was quite good - I found some bits a tiny bit cloying, and it moved a trifle too ...

Well, since you asked for specific areas, I will leave off language crits for now (although it is painful for me to do so, because I am nit-picky that way, ...

Rain pelted the forest floor in huge dime-sized drops. It was spring time in Scotland and the earth was sodden with rain. The wind buffeted the windows of the cloister. ...

Hey there! Welcome to YWS, nice to meet you! First things first: do you mind removing your name from there? Not a good practice on the net (if it's your ...

Hello! We meet again. You have been seriously SPEWed now ^_^ FIRST of all, the title. Please edit the title! **begs** LOL. Sorry, but when I first saw it I ...

Um. OK. My biggest reaction on reading this poem was, "so what?" Seriously - it's not like I dont care that people die in hurricanes, and all, but this poem ...