brandenwallace

Disturbing... Sick and twisted...

Switchfoot's song, Learning to Breathe.

You must not know many people, because the writing quality is quite well. There are few mistakes and he has a distinct form of writing.

i'm not bickering... does it sound like im bickering, so sorry if it does.

If i had posted the second part along with the first part, i dont think many people would care to look at it if they had already seen the first ...

As I said before, its an excerpt. And of course, it would help to read the part 1.

The writing quality was very good actually. Its made the New York Times bestseller, which isn't say much, but still. Now if you just don't like the plot then thats ...

This poem sort of screams pervert about its author.

Ahem, anymore comments would be appreciated...

Yes i dont want too many details like setting or character stuff but i want the reader to have their own idea and have good imagery from a few words. ...

I like the way you worded it. The circle drawn in the sand brought good imagery. kudos

Really you have to read more than a page in the store. Immerse youself in the story and you will find it is different from Tolkien and others.

I knew what she was when I saw the fishnet tights. In my mind I have the stereotypical image of prostitutes wearing fishnet ho's.

Turismo, this is good for beginner work, and the message is only too true.

I rarely do such things as this but... Silverstar, you have no sense when it comes to literature.