blackstorm

I liked it, very original. However, just one thing that concerns me. In the "i can’t function with you in my head. and so i drink." line is there supposed ...

*Awestruck look on face* Wow... Did you write any more chapters? If so, let me know. :wink:

I think that everyone else already talked about what I could find, so I'll just throw my two cents in... GOOD JOB!

sorry to burst your bubbles but I have never played Warcraft and therefore have no idea what you are talking about

In the "Thundering throughout it self." part, the "it self" should be "itself" unless it was intentional. Like Fangala, I found the rhythm a little jerky, but other than that ...

“Good enough for some face to face interaction” needs a period at the end. Other than that, I thought it was awesome. Are there other parts to this story?

*bawling* Sniff... Sniff... OK... I think I'm better now. This was so sad! Very good, but sad. The bad grammar mentioned before did halt the flow of the poem a ...

Sorry. Let me explain the "snakes of tempered steel" part. They're not wiggly but the betrayer can move them about so quickly that they seem like a cobra or some ...

I luv this! It's just as good as I thought it would be from your poem. Make sure to tell me when more chapters come out. I have a question ...

Why would this make you retch? I'm sorry but this is not an emo poem. It is about betrayal. The "gorges of my despair" part is about the despair in ...

I thought it was extremely good. It could maybe use some more emotion though. I mean, it only mentioned the boy being sad at the beginning. If my dad where ...

I actually liked it. And it's college not collage. Also, don't put your work down before anyone even reads your material. Be proud of it. (Obi-wan has spoken!)

I LUV IT! ...Sorry, but it was awesome! If this is intro to a story, I want to read this story. Oh, by the way, in the fifth stanza on ...