biancarayne

I agree with Snoik. I mean, I love the description, it's beautiful how you manipulate the sentences in a way that it almost seems like how i write (hehe), but ...

I liked the beginning and I liked how it had such a surreal feeling to it. Yet... I feel like I didn't really have any meaning to it. I mean, ...

hmm...i know i can do something more to make this better

thanks to all who have commented so far!

thanks to everyone that's commented so far!

It was good. But I didn't get it! What did it mean? Was it from the Middle East of or something? Maybe you can explain it better in the poem. ...

Hmcreamcomplane. Sounds nice! :D Very pretty. -ST thank ya for the comment!

What's E'in Sof mean? Something Egyptian? I have yet to know what makes a good poem myself, as I cannot write stuff that seems to follow those guidelines. Thus, I ...

Ooh, I like this, especially the "onyx coils poised to strike" bit. Good stuff. I think, yeah, you're right, it can stand alone. Muffin thank ya muchly for the comment!

The beginning dragged me in. It was interesting, full of images, beautifully tying into each other. And then this system was just repeated and dragged out through the rest of ...

I am not entirely sure what to say on this poem. It isn't bad, but it is lacking anything to make it good as well. This wasn't some terrible, horrid ...

Well, I definitely did enjoy reading this a lot! I'm not a big fan of rhyming and it did seem to me that some of the rhyming in this one ...

plz comment!! thanks!!

I don't know much about sonnets, but you've written a very beautiful, wonderfully descriptive one. The only thing I saw was that some of the commas seemed unnecessary to me. ...