biancarayne

Esme- Thanks so much for your comments and for pointing out all those things! And, I think I see what you mean by a lot of the things you pointed ...

The first thing I noticed was that the description is too heavy, with too many substituted words and fancy descriptions that make it sound like Eragon. That's not a compliment, ...

thanks to everyone who's commited so far!! leja- yeah, i definitely agree with you about like the bogging down w/ musical terminology thing and about the lines with personification. azila- ...

I'm suprised there aren't other comments! this piece moved me like jazz and I love jazz. Your tone is smooth and it pulls upon my depths. The dance you perform ...

This is really great. I love how you express yourself, and it flows beautifully. I especially enjoyed; "I tango in-between your fingertips." and "You play me like a saxophone, your ...

yeah, pm me when you get the font stuff fixed up :D

Thanks so much to everyone who's commented so far!!

ah I totally forgot about writing weird...

Pretty good. Your Ideas were great. Work a litlle bit on your work choice though. If you keep readig and writing I can invision you being a fabulous poet. Still ...

thank ya'll for the comment!!

a new draft of this is up now!!

thank you both so much for your comments!!

thank you so much for your help!! I'm... lost. Each stanza makes enough sense in itself, but altogether, it's a bit confusing. Though from here: When the funeral is over, ...

I liked it, but then I'm not entirely sure what it was about. It was too long though, for me, I felt like the idea and meaning were dragged out. ...

The idea was definitely a very, mystical one and had a lot of nice imagery- however, I don't much like the way it was written as far as each line ...