bear

I only read part of this, and it's the same problem as before. It still moves to fast, and there is still not anything to make the reader care, in ...

Hi, Vampy_Girl! You need to work on your grammar. I found a lot of run - ons, and missing punctuation, especially towards the middle, and it got very distracting. It ...

Hi, Sonlen! I read all of this, and I have quite a few things to say. This needs some work. It's very sketchy, and it's all exposition. There's little to ...

I think that this chapter was needed. It gives the readers a bit of a breather during a story with what I predict to be a very intense pace, and ...

Once again, it's good - I must say you are a master of suspense, but I feel that your characters are lacking, and they're lacking actuality. One of the questions ...

Okay, I agree with the posters above me, this is good, and has potential. I only have a few nitpicky things to say. Becky’s favorite time, he thought, remembering the ...

I'm going to be honest. I only read most of this. You're English is solid. So is the concept. I'll give you that. But that's not enough and what I'm ...

This is good, but I think you might want to be careful that you don't fall into the same mold every time you go to write a romance - something ...

Unfortunately, I can't tell you if your rating is correct, but, when in doubt, go with the higher choice. Which would be this one, I think. You describe a lot ...

Hello! I usually don't critique science fiction, so bear with me. (Hah ha.) So you sci-fi people really seem to know what you're doing. This was good. I liked how ...

So, some things were a little superfluous, but I shall get to that later. You know what I really really liked about the landscape that you describe? Well, for one, ...

Interesting. I skipped the poem at the beginning and then read it at the end, for no particular reason other than that it's not needed. Or at least not visibly ...

Wee! I'm the first to critique this. Call me petty, but I like being the first. I'm always afraid someone will have said everything I've said and there will be ...

Your vocabulary is beautiful. Your prose seems to have a rhythm to it. However, while entrancing, I found it confusing. I had to trudge through all of this, particularly in ...

I really, really liked this. See that there? Two really's. Before I praise your poem further and point out comma mistakes, I'm going to warn you that I do not ...