barefootrunner

Hi there! A quick review for you! :) I liked the overall theme and darkness of this work. I think that you have the big picture very well, but might ...

Hi there! Good work on this piece. :) Here's a quick review for you! Firstly, on the spelling and grammar front, you need work on your comma usage. 1. Always ...

Hi there! Me again to review your awesome work! :) Spelling and Grammar, a big column today! Tree and sky, tumble over each other in a neverending cycle. Banish the ...

Hi there again! Another quick review. :) Firstly, spelling and grammar … and a couple of other beasties: A few small errors here. “There. Not so bad now, is it,5823?” ...

Hi there! I'm going to do a quick run-through, since you've got such a lovely response on this already. Spelling and grammar: Good work! I spotted one tiny flaw. As ...

Hi there! A quick review for you! :) Okay, so firstly I had to stop laughing. Good one! :) My first thought was—biiiig block of text. And there's almost nothing ...

Hi there! How are you finding your first month on YWS? Here is my quick review. Enjoy! Firstly, I found too little variation in your sentence structure, especially in the ...

Hi there! Long time no see. Sorry I didn't get to this earlier, but I was away. :) “From today onwards you will be sat next to Phoenix,” he explained ...

Hi there! Here for another review, of course :) “You’re definitely cold,” she said, seeming slightly amused. “I’ll make some tee to warm you up.” tee ==> tea. The woman ...

Hi there! A quick review for you :) Oh! And welcome to YWS :) This was a really fun idea and quite original! Very interesting start. You've already introduced many ...

Hi there! I'll just do a quick grammar shred to help with editing :) “No one intends on it, little Aleol.” Delete the on. The elder brother released a loud ...

Hi there! Here's a quick review for you :) She didn't pause to plunge her fangs into my neck. This should run: "She didn't pause before plunging her fangs into ...

Hi there! Welcome to YWS and enjoy your stay :) A quick review on your piece. Firstly, it's best not to use numbers in literary works. Write FIVE instead of ...

Hi there! Just a quick review :) I agree with Homeschooled that you should break it up into stanzas. I also think you should just check out the grammar you've ...

Hi there! I'm back for another review :) “I’ve got more broth,” Lenel said. “Mom says you have to eat it all this time. She says you can’t afford to ...