backgroundbob

OK. Firstly, I like it; it's very rich (like Christmas pudding!) and full of images, but... it's riddled with... oddities. That's not a bad thing in itself, but grammatical correctness ...

I'm a wee bit dubious as to the placing of some of your line breaks. 'That things can die' doesn't seem to me to need a line of it's own; ...

Absolutely cracking imagery; made me sad just reading it. I've got a couple of whines, though: -PUNCTUATION! Enjambemant is all well and good, but you've not used a *single* bit ...

YES. Liked it - good references, RLS and Spinoza fit well with what you're trying to say, I think. Excellent use of shifting perpective, so we have trouble telling where ...

This requires... sigh. OK - you have some basic problems. Firstly, and I'll get the small issues out of the way first, the spelling and grammar are appalling: about three-quarters ...

Read most of them... they were great for me as a young kid, full of swords and riddles and villiousness yet humourous villians... couldn't read 'em now, though, except for ...

I have to say, it seemed a bit angsty... eh, scrap that, it seemed a lot angsty. I mean, the odd meditation on the point of life is fine, but ...

I'm liking this very much - the seperation of 'fate' and 'destiny' was an excellent touch. Would I have stopped to end the pain? The pain would have grown worse ...

I'd tend to go with OUAD and RiverGirl: it was just too repetitive. There are times when simple works, well, but this just keeps repeating a phrase. It's just my ...

But it's not poetry! It's just a series of barely interconnected sentaces that have been said so many times before! It needs *something* about it to make it worth reading, ...

No, I don't like it, for a lot of reasons. Firstly, and foremostly, it's angst: straight piece of advice to most new writers, DO NOT write about your broken relationship. ...

I'm caught, slightly: while I don't precisely *like* how it reads, I damn well appriciate how intelligent it is. I had to struggle to understand a lot of it, and ...

I quite like, I must say: it reminded me of Blackberry Wine by Joanne Harris. Couple of nitpicks: - do you put molasses in wine? - the end is a ...

How very odd: I, too, was thinking in terms of old-style poems and ships. I like this: it's my kind of poem, absolutely and to the hilt, full of great ...

Nope - not at all: don't worry if people don't answer to stuff when you're first posting. When there's so much work around, people tend to miss things from new ...