asadderandawiserman

I haven't read any of the other chapters yet, but review day is rapidly drawing to a close, so I decided to dispense with the silly tradition of starting at ...

I'm sorry, I haven't read the other chapters, but review day is fast ending so I figured I'd try and muddle through this one then come back to the others ...

I can't write too much about this, since it's quite short, but I definitely think a 'safe' hunger games set in the real world could be interesting. There'd definitely be ...

"Nice job. You slaughtered some of the grammar things in there but nothing some practice won’t fix." This pretty much expresses my sentiment towards the piece. The issues I had ...

In terms of length, this was a step backwards. It was quite short, and I think that it would be better if it was split into a couple of paragraphs. ...

You definitely made an improvement in terms of length in this one, which is great. I think the chapters could still stand to be a little longer, but this was ...

I'm not going to focus on grammar too much, since a book could tell you that as easily as me. However, in this chapter and the last you do overuse ...

As others have said, this is quite short, and I would recommend trying to make this each chapter longer, otherwise it will start to feel rushed. I did quite like ...

I've only read around three or so of your other poems, but they were all very experimental with form. Because of this, it seemed to me that keeping this poem ...

I'm gonna come out and admit something that's probably practically sacrilege here: I like rhyming poetry. Like, I considerably prefer it to non-rhyming poetry. As long as it's done well. ...

I know you said you weren't hoping for critique, but I'm going to anyway, because: a. It can't hurt if it helps you improve your skills. b. It is review ...

This is pretty fun for such a short story! I have a couple of nitpicks though. First of all, the first sentence is a run-on sentence. The first comma should ...

I really enjoyed this in a lot of ways, but I think that there are also some things which could be improved. For example, I really liked the mythology story, ...

I'm have to say, I disagree with Sherri in that I don't think more physical description of the characters would have made this piece better. There's already a lot of ...

Howdy! This is great, I really enjoyed it. I'm not sure if you're planning to follow it up with anything, or if it's a standalone, because to be honest it ...