alwaysawriter

Good story. It was white and floaty and the prettiest thing I had ever owned. Stop with the ands. Try "It was white and floaty; the prettiest thing I had ...

You left off some letters on some of your words. Other than that, I can't think of anything else wrong with it. Was he the one that called her Moo-Moo? ...

I liked the story. I was in a sitchuation like that before--on both sides of it. I've never been much of a people person--ask Angelcat2958--and would much rather be myself ...

I liked it. I can't really say any more than the other two have said. Are you going to write more? I think you should. I want to hear more ...

I loved it. It was even better than Chapter 1. I agree though, you don't really have to describe what they're wearing unless it plays some important part in the ...

I thought it was really good. There's nothing I can add that someone hasn't already said--I'm a little slow on writing reviews. Anyway, can't wait to read Chapter 2, which ...

The commas were a little bit much. The story line isn't exactly original but I liked how you put it in a guy's point of view instead of a girl's. ...

I completly agree. Varun shouldn't be capitalized. Your grammer needs some work but I could manage to follow it. Don't tell us so much--readers always need something to figure out. ...

Other than the few grammer errors, it was really good. When I write, I have a tendency to correct my grammer as I go along-which is probably why I never ...

That was a great story. I can't write like that no matter how hard I try. :) The grammer is a little bad but that's not your fault; its hard ...