z

Young Writers Society



Unloved- Chapter 2 Dilemma (edited)

by Maki-Chan


Chapter 2

Dilemma

As the teacher called off the names, to check who was here, I carefully went over the events of that morning. It seemed I had missed something during the discussion, but I didn't know what. My mind at the time seemed to wonder between listening and what had happened to make me so afraid.

"Tera Lee." The teacher called.

My thoughts prevented me from hearing her call my name.

"Tera Lee?" The teacher called again.

Her words finally breached my mind. “Here.” I answered.

I watched her check my name as here. The classroom door swung opened. A tall blond spiky haired boy entered the classroom. Wearing a plain white-collar shirt that seemed to blend with the white colored walls he also wore baggy black jeans that stuck out against the walls like a sore thumb.

“N-no, it can’t be.” I whispered.

The teacher turned to face him. “You must be Jessy Kaiser, go take a seat over there in the empty desk.” She pointed towards the only empty desk in the entire history class, the desk right next to mine.

I bent my head down against my desk, wrapping my arms around it. Every second that passed seemed to be an eternity, as Jessy walked to his new desk. I tried to keep my heavy breaths silent by breathing out of my mouth.

“Hello, Miss Tera Lee.” a silk velvety voice slithered down my ear.

Lifting my head I looked over to see him. The same creepy grin that never completely left my mind was still there on his face. It was the same strange look he gave me this very morning. Jessy still remembered me, great.

He was sitting at his desk, resting his chin on his hand; looking at me with fading blue eyes, causing me to shiver. His look was icy, and made me feel cold. Jessy’s false endearing stare made me feel acquired, shifting in my chair made the tension fade a little away. I hoped to god, that someone else in my class would save me. Someone would hopefully turn to face me and talk to me. Giving me a reason not to acknowledge Jessy’s presence.

But as usual, I wasn’t lucky enough to get what I wanted just by wishing for it. “ Miss Tera, why do you look so uneasy?” He asked.

The way he asked it caused me to stay silent. He seemed more to mock me than to be concerned. In fact I think he was enjoying this, my miss comfort. Perhaps it was his joy. I turned foreword to face the front of the class, trying to listen to the teacher rather than Jessy.

Without looking I knew he was watching me. It felt as if someone was pointing a gun at my head. I was afraid of looking back, of seeing his face, making direct eye contact with him. I was terrified that I would get lost in his endless, hollow blue eyes.

*********************************

After class I headed straight to my locker, ignoring everyone that said ‘hi’ to me. Everything faint and distant to me, nothing really mattered right now. Figuring out why Jessy was doing this to me, I faced my locker. The last in its row, locker number 399 seemed different. I wondered why this had occurred to me. But then it hit me, just like a ton of bricks. Locker number 399 wasn’t even there. I was now very confused. Looking to the person next to me, I tapped their shoulder.

“Hey, where did my locker go?” I asked.

The guy, who I had just tapped, has been my locker neighbor for two years. He shrugged. “Dunno,”

Gently rubbing my temples with my fingertips, I sighed. “This day sucks so much.”

I felt someone tap my shoulder. Looking over I saw empty green eyes. It was Chase. His black bangs covered the top part of his face, hovering just above his eyes. Backing away from him, I took a better look. Chase wore a red T-shirt and a tight black jacket over it. It was unzipped and the red popped out against the black. While his pants were between baggy and tight, was a grayish color. His shoes were plain white tennis shoes.

“What do you want?” I asked.

He looked away from me, avoiding eye contact. “You’ve been transferred to another locker. The principle told me to give you your new locker sheet. It had the number and its lock combo.”

Suspiciously I questioned him. “Why didn’t he just call for me?”

Chase flinched. He probably didn’t expect me to be smart. He rubbed the back of his head. “I was there, and since your locker is next to mine.”

The words ‘next to mine’ made me swear in my head. How could this get any worse? I then realized that whenever I said that, something worse did happen. I’m just cursed.

Following close behind Chase we came upon our lockers. Now on the bottom floor I noticed that I was now closer to most of my classes.

Chase handed me the locker paper, and I quickly opened the locker. All my stuff was placed neatly in my new locker. After close examination, I found that nothing was missing. Standing face to face with Chase again, I smiled. It was a fake smile. The truth was I still suspected he was up to something.

“Thanks,” I faked being happy.

He nodded back. “Yeah, your welcome.”

As he walked away, I rubbed my head. Something about Chase made me hate him. I didn’t understand why though. It was just instinct perhaps, or just a first impression. First impressions are usually wrong, but the way Chase makes me feel might be for real...


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
287 Reviews


Points: 1650
Reviews: 287

Donate
Thu Dec 11, 2008 3:24 am
Maki-Chan says...



W00T! I edited it. I now realize how foolish I was with grammar. Luckily, I have improved. ^_^




User avatar
228 Reviews


Points: 4495
Reviews: 228

Donate
Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:00 am
Meep(: wrote a review...



Awesome!
I love your story idea. Not the run-of-the-mill type.
Credits go to your prologue.
If you hadn't written that so well,
I wouldn't be reading this.
It drew my attention to your story.
THis chapter is better than chapter 1.
Nice idea, well-written.
I love it!
PM me when you post the next chapter, please :)
I really want to see how the story develops.




User avatar
157 Reviews


Points: 3015
Reviews: 157

Donate
Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:39 pm
alwaysawriter wrote a review...



I loved it. It was even better than Chapter 1. I agree though, you don't really have to describe what they're wearing unless it plays some important part in the next chapter or in another part of the story; too much detail kind of ruins the imaginative part of reading a story (a perfect example is the Great Expectations by Charles Dickinson. I got about three pages in and couldn't take all the detail.) Awesome, overall though. Can't wait for you to finish with your schoolwork so we can read more! PM me when your done with Chapter 3, whenever that is. :D




User avatar
9 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 9

Donate
Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:37 am
[aka]eliza wrote a review...



"The same creepy grin that never completely left my mind was still there on his face. It was the same strange look he gave me this very morning. "

I didn't remember that he had those certain features about him. If you add those in the first it would be great. =]

I love the way of how you said the silk velvety voice slithered down my ear. That was a really good personification.

The part about the locker 399, and her locker; that part confused me a bit. Maybe rewording it would help with that a little bit. =]

At the end she said something about him made me feel uneasy. I thought that the whole "scene" in the beginning of chapter one would be the cause. Tera seeming to not know doesn't seem to fit.

I think describing exactly what they're wearing isn't a necessity. Usually people can come up with a pretty good picture in their head just by reading that person's behavior and their actions.

Overall this is really great. =]




User avatar
15 Reviews


Points: 1286
Reviews: 15

Donate
Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:03 pm
Lady of Fire says...



this was so good. you really create a great mental picture and you can really understand Tera's emotions and fears. i cant wait for the next chapter.




User avatar
287 Reviews


Points: 1650
Reviews: 287

Donate
Tue May 13, 2008 3:21 am
Maki-Chan says...



Ashleyless-chan I'm sorry to tell you, but I am wrapped up tightly in school work. I haven't been able to write for my story. I will have it down, but I just don't know when. Luckily during the summer time, I'll have plenty of time to work on it ^_^




User avatar
842 Reviews


Points: 1075
Reviews: 842

Donate
Sat May 03, 2008 9:22 pm
ashleylee says...



Okay, that makes me feel better! :D

But yeah, I caught that in there about Chase but I still wasn't sure about that...

PM me when you post the next piece!




User avatar
287 Reviews


Points: 1650
Reviews: 287

Donate
Sat May 03, 2008 6:18 pm
Maki-Chan says...



thank you.

The questions you asked will be answered. THe way Tera didn't like Chase was a strange feeling. Something about him makes her not trust him.


hope this helps ^_^




User avatar
842 Reviews


Points: 1075
Reviews: 842

Donate
Sat May 03, 2008 6:11 pm
ashleylee wrote a review...



Sorry that it took forever for me to review this next chaper! :oops:

But okay, I thought this was good. The beginning with the mysterious blonde kid caught my attention! :D

But the switching the locker thing totally caught me off guard...and sort of confused me. First off, why does she hate this Chase kid? What did he ever to to her? Plus, why did she switch lockers in the first place? Oh, and how does Chase know her?

I could go on and on with those questions but I decided to stop there. :D But, you have to answer those in some way. Maybe they are answered in the third chapter and if they are, well, let me know when it is on here so I know!

But anyway, I thought it was good! I still liked it and I look forward to the next part!




User avatar
287 Reviews


Points: 1650
Reviews: 287

Donate
Wed Apr 30, 2008 4:42 pm
Maki-Chan says...



^_^ I'm glad you liked it Panda-chan. I rewrote that one sentence. I hope that its better than before.




User avatar
6 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 6

Donate
Wed Apr 30, 2008 4:28 am
Red Panda-Chan wrote a review...



I think the last sentence just confused me...

"First impressions were usually wrong, but I don’t know about my feelings for Chase though."

I'm not sure... Just something about the way it's said confuses me... @.@
I liked it though, a lot. It was really good! :D




User avatar
287 Reviews


Points: 1650
Reviews: 287

Donate
Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:51 pm
Maki-Chan says...



SWEET!>_< I knew chapter 2 was better than chapter 1. ^_^ I'll work real hard on chapter 3.




User avatar
55 Reviews


Points: 1040
Reviews: 55

Donate
Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:01 pm
Vampy_Girl15 wrote a review...



This is really the only thing I noticed:

'The last in its row, locker number 399 seemed different than normally.'

It just doesn't sound right. Maybe say something like.

'The last locker in it's row, number 399, seemed different.'

You don't really need the word normal in the sentence.

Otherwise nothing that totally threw me off. I liked it a lot. I can't wait to read more about what Chase and Jessy are up to!

Keep writing!

~Rachael




User avatar
46 Reviews


Points: 1049
Reviews: 46

Donate
Mon Apr 28, 2008 5:12 pm



"Discomfort" instead of "miss comfort", but otherwise great!! :D Jessy and Chase are frighteningly freakish!!




User avatar
118 Reviews


Points: 2374
Reviews: 118

Donate
Mon Apr 28, 2008 2:12 pm
myfreindsavamp says...



Awsome my freind.^_^





I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.
— Walt Disney