alleycat13

As a lover of food, I enjoyed this. The imagery is good, but I'm not sure what to make of the punctuation. Take the first stanza. Fingers sticky, Sickly sweet, ...

I think (like everyone else) that this is a huge info-dump. Two bad things about that-> 1. This is so short a prologue, and that is so much information, that ...

Most everything has been covered, but I have this to say. A choking sound, a moan, a gasp of pain erupted from the very far corner of the room, where ...

Wow, scrolling down the replies, I can sense hostility...jeeze :? But, wow, Firestarter, this is really nice. Pretty much everything I would say has been said. I would like to ...

I really enjoyed this, especially because you are a guy. I think that too many girls plaster their faces with make-up because they feel pressure from males. I'm not sure ...

I felt this was too long. The best essay writing is concise. You say what needs to be said. That means elaborating only as far as is effective, using the ...

First, format. Please space out your paragraphs so my eyes don't burn. Second, your sentence structure is fine, but every single one is "I did..." "It was...". Mix it up. ...

This is very nice. It's really short, but you've taken a great deal of emotion and comdensed it into these few paragraphs quite nicely. I think that's what I like ...

I agree with Kitty15. You have three stories going on here, and, although I liked all three and enjoyed your style, I don't think you make a point of any ...

I haven't read the book, but they made a movie called White Oleander. I can only assume (yes, I know what that does for you and me) that is based ...

I had to read this book for school in 4th or 5th grade. At the time, I didn't like it. Just the tone of it really put me off. But ...

Well, for me at least, this poem is not long enough for me to "brutally critique", but I shall try. Awkward phrases... and relish into my chain of enchantments This ...

I really liked the first two stanzas. I liked the word choice Fervently, Passionately. and the visuals of the rugs and bowed heads. The parallelism of the two religions at ...

They through on the street Did you mean "They throw us on the street."? It's short and simple. I think that's one of the reasons I liked it. Some people ...

I'm currently rereading LOTR. Yes, it is long winded at times, but Tolkien is a different writer than Rowling. In his time, literature was like that. But I'd have to ...