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Re: Take Me Back To 90's
I loved it. The title was what brought me in and you delivered. I can so easily imagine this to a upbeat pop melody. It drips with nostalgia and fun. ...
Jan 6, 2009 -
Re: A Thousand Feathers
I absolutely love the idea behind this poem. A thousand white feathers fly into the air as I rip my pillow in half. Its contents floated softly with the breeze, ...
Jan 6, 2009 -
Re: in the shower.
I liked it alot. Short and swee. I loved the last line-- it made me chuckle. It hurts, and it feels good. I think this line is weak. one third ...
Jan 6, 2009 -
Re: Oh Lord'
I'm not much of a songwriter, but I'm going to give you my thoughts. Look at how hard I tried, seeing everyday how you pry. Shadows creep the walls with ...
Jan 6, 2009 -
Re: Cell by Stephen King?
I enjoyed Cell. I disagree with Haruno Sakura, who said that it needed to be shorter. Stephen King is known for how long and indepth his stories are, for how ...
Jan 1, 2009 -
Re: Lion Hunting
I really enjoyed this piece. As a huge Narnia fan, I found this very accurate and interesting. I actually cried. I admit it. The only thing is when the doctor ...
Sep 16, 2008 -
Re: Numb
Hello brokenwings. Overall, it's a good start to a poem, but there are somethings you might want to change. I have no heart, I’ve lost my mind I have no ...
Sep 15, 2008 -
Re: مئة الخطايا (A Hundred Sins)
I liked it alot. I think a brief authors note in the beginning might be a good idea to explain the Islamic terms, but I also think that the narrative ...
Aug 11, 2008 -
Re: Breaking Dawn
I liked it, but it's going to be a while before I read it again. There was no climax what so ever. It platued at the birth scene and then ...
Aug 5, 2008 -
Re: A Collection of Doodles
Wow, pointed and good. As sketches/poems, they're awesome. I love this imagery--> Wheelchairs with spokes like snipped guitar strings and gutted seat-cushions that leave little breadcrumbs of foam beh
Jul 7, 2008 -
Re: Cockroaches and Condoms
I'm pretty sure that's the most entertaining piece of "romantic"fiction I've read in a long time. My only suggestion is to put in some more 'he said' \'she said' because ...
Jul 1, 2008 -
Re: Lamentations of an unwilling heart.
Very cool. Content-wise, I can't say much, except to wonder who the speaker is appealing to in the last stanza.---> Oh supreme lover! Let me be better than I am. ...
Jul 1, 2008 -
Re: Do You Know Fear?
I like it alot. I like that you chose to use first person and address the reader. That makes it much more pointed and personal. I could describe them for ...
Jul 1, 2008 -
Re: Wishing on a Plane
I agree with niteowl. Lose the "who are". I think you can leave it out all together. Your imagery is amazing---> His face shines radiance, with eyes that dream of ...
Jul 1, 2008 -
Re: Notes on a Plane Crash
I'm not sure. I listened to the audio and read it outloud to myself, but I'm not sure what I think. Prehaps thats a good thing? Maybe. I agree with ...
Apr 29, 2008
