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Hey Saen, You're probably sick of my critiques by now ^_^ Their moods had been dampened by the conversations regarding both the locket and the dreams, and Cass couldn't help ...

Hey Sheyren, Glad to see another chapter published. Navarre slid past the Caelimancer approaching Exliana on soles covered by ice, grabbing her ribbon before she had time to react. I ...

Hey Saen! Glad to see another chapter fragment so soon! They spent the next hour wandering through the many aisles of the flea market , pointing out some of the ...

Hey Pan ^_^ An hour and a half later, the cab turned in to Skipton, eventually bumping to a stop on the cobbles of a broad high street. Mrs Humphreys ...

Hey, hope you don’t mind picking up another reader ^_^ At what point do you call it a fanbase? Evaline laughed again, this time out of sincerity. “Well, to answer ...

The man sitting opposite her climbed to his feet. "I'm Frank," he introduced himself, holding out a grubby hand. "This here is Sam." He pointed to one of the other ...

Hey, Not bad at all. The dialog and pace worked well in this piece. I’m a little confused though because at the beginning, Sky’s Dad said they have a long ...

Hey, you know why I’m here ^_^ An hour later, the old jeep was pulling into the flea market. As the car rolled across the dirt parking lot to one ...

Hey, thanks for the tag. There was little undergrowth, which would make concealing herself difficult. Not that she intended to hide. This is one of those “then why bother mentioning ...

Hey Pan, I can’t remember if this is a first draft or if you are interested in line edit suggestions, but I’m going to post them anyway because I’m just ...

I really don't think this portion of chapter 2 is necessary. You spent a lot of time rehashing thoughts from 2.1, how Skylar doesn't want to take odd jobs etc, ...

This was much better than the previous installments. Not saying the others were bad, but this was so much better. First of all, you've repeated a paragraph near the top. ...

Hey, I have a few things to say. ^_^ First, you've been foreshadowing the upcoming death of Braylie's dad way too much. I'm getting the feeling that this party is ...

Hey. Thanks for the tag. Aspen put her feet on the gas pedal, and they began their drive to the donut place. I don’t think she would place both feet ...

Hey, Exliana muttered something that Navarre didn’t seem to care about, I'm not sure you can get away with this so early into the story. If we were at the ...