ZaddieCaso

Is this about the riots? It certainly reminds me of them. Fantastic, I really liked how it was set up, I loved the metaphor of the fire in this, of ...

Wow! I read this a few days ago but it's still in my head and I really want to see the next chapter. Is this going to be a chapter ...

hey Sonny, You asked what a lilo was. A lilo is a very common word in England, don't know if it is anywhere else. It's just an inflatable bed or ...

hey guys, I agree with you on that line. Will make editing changes now. No Ofir this isn't going to carry on in the same fashion as the prologue, or ...

hmmm, I understand about the description and the phrase show, don't tell. It's one I use quite a lot while reviewing peoples work. I wanted to make it blunt, lay ...

thankyou :]

thankyou for everyone that posted there comments, they really helped. I think I've gathered that I need to change the third, and to be honest reading it through I agree ...

fixed the italics now, the first and second person will make sense.

Okay, Thank you soo much to everyone how has posted and helped me improve this, I'm very great-full. I'm just putting the next chapter on now so check it out, ...

You got the wrong end of the stick KJ, the woman isn't going to die. Her baby died inside her and she has to deliver it still born. Thanks for ...

haha wow vernon, you really didn't hold back. But know I agree with you, it is cliche. But sometimes it's nice to write something a little cliche, after all cliches ...

um..well wow. I really didn't think anyone would like this. I'm sorry, but this really was always going to be a one off short story. Izzy :]

Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed. Especially Kat, that really helped. This was always going to be a mutlichapter fiction, so the next chapter should be up on ...

Okay Julie. I reviewed another poem of yours today and the same principles go for this one. You should have a capital letter at the start of each new line. ...

Thanks to everyone that commented! *hugs*