I put this in other fiction but after quite a few comments I have reposted it here, seems better suited 
Just a short monologue I thought i'd try, something different. Rip it to shreds
Love is blind
Mary is sitting on a single bed, reading a book. The room is small and appears smaller by a thick lining of book cases, housing a range of difficult literature in varyingly large volumes. A pair of glasses with no lenses sits on the bed side table next to a flickering lamp.
After Martin was so enthralled by The Greek Gods our last super, I knew it would be positively criminal if I did not find out more. Appearing a ‘goldfish’ is the last thing that I want to occur; gulping the air blankly as though it might feed me the answer – No, I have already finished “The Guide to Greek Gods” and am currently commencing Volume Two of the collection. I can now proudly differentiate my Apollo from my Hermes and my Eros from Pan; adequately equipped for a splendidly stimulating evening.
Our last date was a positively glowing success. The evening had been arranged through a mutual friend, and I was filled with nerves as to how the potential suitor would be. However, I was not disappointed. I knew it was him from the moment he entered, the epitome of my type, as Marianna had promised, although I do recall a slight raise of the eyebrows when I described, with no untouched detail, what my sort was. With a beautifully sleek head and a glistening eyebrow, I must admit to sighing appreciatively as he approached, and again as he outstretched a hand; blissfully callused from a manual trade. “The name’s Mar’in” he introduced as he endeavoured to sit and I smiled knowingly before commencing conversation. First history then politics, I trilled with unbound exuberance over the topical subjects, whilst ensuring to leave him the adequate time to reply;
“What do you think of current political environment?”
“I...”
“It’s quite invigorating isn’t it?”
“Well...”
“Never seen anything like it”
“Rea...?”
“And I studied politics at A Level”
We had covered media and international relations by dessert; a profound achievement I had never quite managed to reach before on a date. Martin was listening so intently that his eyes began to latch onto objects; the salt, the menu, the cutlery, the waitress – as though he had to look elsewhere to listen at optimum level. However, once we had exhausted The Situation in Gaza, I found myself at a loss. All other possibilities of topics fluttered away, rendering me speechless and, ultimately, helpless. A pained silence commenced, until, defeated, I shrugged “I like your tattoo” as my final words.
Admittedly, unusual, before this point, the evening was not, for I have dated many “Martin”s, and the conversation, with its slight uplift, remains stiffly the same. However, at the utterance of this simplistic compliment, Martin looked at his tattoo; cupid holding an arrow whilst balancing niftily on his bicep, looked back at me and suddenly bound into a grin. And from that point on...a different kind of conversation commenced which continued long after coffee. A second date was arranged. Martin and his tattoo of Eros waited for me until my taxi showed.
Looking back on it now, I feel quite bewildered. For it would seem that, despite our topically conversational excursion, the purest enjoyment of the evening stemmed from a comment most artless in nature. I find this concept most muddling to comprehend, for as I survey my countless collection of classics, I fail to recall any speak of the magnificence of simplicity.
The room has been stripped of its many book shelves. A long forgotten window, previously hidden by books, has been reawakened and allows sunlight to shine into the room. Two light novels lie on the bedside table, next to a vase of colourful flowers. Mary is standing by the window, looking out.
My second meeting with Martin was something quite different. I decided against memorising Volume Two of the Greek collection. In fact, I tried my best to erase my knowledge of Volume One. For it occurred to me that, despite the many answers the collection undoubtedly possessed: they were not the true solution to what I really wanted. It came to me that the only knowledge I truly desired was not the intellectual, the details of Hermes and Pan, but the trivial - Martin’s birthday, whether he had any pets...
And so I arrived at our second date unarmed with knowledge, feeling strangely vulnerable as I sat down at the table. An emergency trip to the library was tempting but I suppressed the urge, and as he appeared, with his tattoo and wonderfully uneven smile, I knew, at once, that I had made the right choice. We talked throughout the evening about the littlest things; his birthday was on the 23rd November and he had a pet bulldog called Terror who was “A bi’ rough around the edges, bu’ a good pup at heart.”
I found that my previous intellectual walls had melted away through the course of the evening, and even when we ordered dessert; “The Colossal”, which turned out to be ice cream, sparklers, balloons... and Martin had only said “Not bad eh?”, I felt a great torrent of warmth, not the urge to amend. “Not bad at all” I replied, squeezing his arm and watching his tattoo of Cupid and his arrow throb.
Hello. I just have some things to say.
1.) Present tense? That limits you and makes it seem awkward to the reader. If it's a script I understand, but it's not. When something is written in present tense I am focusing on trying to see the words in the form of a description. I can't though. I can't see the story in my head.
2.) It was interesting. Your words are rather... exotic for lack of a better word.
Hey its ella
1: Irrelevant Words, Spellings, Grammar...etc
ZaddieCaso wrote:Mary is sitting on a single bed, reading a book. The room is small and appears smaller by a thick lining of book cases
varyingly large volumes.
A pair of glasses with no lenses sits on the bed side table next to a flickering lamp.
After Martin was so enthralled by The Greek Gods our last super, I knew it would be positively criminal if I did not find out more. Appearing a ‘goldfish’ is the last thing that I want to occur; gulping the air blankly as though it might feed me the answer – No, I have already finished “The Guide to Greek Gods” and am currently commencing Volume Two of the collection. I can now proudly differentiate my Apollo from my Hermes and my Eros from Pan; adequately equipped for a splendidly stimulating evening
but i like the way the style of language changes as well, and youve written in a fairly convincing "old english" style, Hello, hello.
Interesting story. I like how it's humorous yet rather tragic at the same time. haha,
First, who is Mary? Did you randomly shift from 3rd person narrator to 1st person narrator? It was confusing when you went to first person suddenly.
"After Martin was so enthralled by The Greek Gods our last super" supper not super. And are you really bent on using that word? It sounds pretentious at sounding more formal or intellectual. Can't you use dinner?
I just read a story with a similar theme earlier where the boy was delusional and when he narrated the story he made it seem like the girl was in love with him. This is rather the case here except I don't see that delusion so much. I read it here and there but I won't even call it subtly showing the complication in the story, which is her delusion that it was a wonderful date. The way you showed it here just sounded weak. The part where it should be most prominent (their one-sided conversation) just looked out of place.
There's also an issue on tone in this story. Sometimes it sounds modern, sometimes it sounds like the girl is trying to emulate Jane Austen.
"Mary is sitting on a single bed, reading a book. The room is small and appears smaller by a thick lining of book cases, housing a range of difficult literature in varyingly large volumes. A pair of glasses with no lenses sits on the bed side table next to a flickering lamp. "
"Our last date was a positively glowing success. The evening had been arranged through a mutual friend, and I was filled with nerves as to how the potential suitor would be"
The two above are examples of the more modern tone of the story. A lot of the other parts are those that tried to capture the character of the girl, that she was intellectual. It's just really inconsistent with regards to tone.
The plot, though is masterfully done. The "Love is Blind" concept is also explored in a fresh way here so congratz on that.
Keep writing and good luck.
--Knightly
Hey! I'm Kaila, and I will be your reviewer for today.
Overall, I liked it, but I have a few things to suggest. First of all, you mention Mary twice, in a room full of books, but then the rest of it is in the first person. Maybe clarify if Mary is the narrator and put those parts in italics or something. Also, you say that Martin is her type, so explain what her type is. All we really know is that he talks a little funny and has a tattoo.
I really enjoyed the MC's character, her dependence on facts, and how she's sort of oblivious to how that comes across to other people. I would say be careful how you word things in the narrating, though, because when you add so many words it can just start to sound a little awkward.
I love the description of the first date, when she talks so much and then the comment on that tattoo. I really do like this story, I just think you could polish it off just a little more and it would be really really great. I really did like it, though. 
"Admittedly, unusual, before this point,"
I'm not sure the grammar in that sentence makes sense, or maybe just to make it read better you should leave out the first comma, as it breaks up the flow of the narrative.
I think you should describe Martin's character to greater length, also you should explore the idea of what the connection between them is, if there is one. Or are they just going to be friends?
The story does seem a little bit broken up in places, it didn't read quite as well as you're other work!
still very good though!
"I survey my countless collection of classics, I fail to recall any speak of the magnificence of simplicity."
That part is good as it helps you learn more about her character in a more subtle way..
xx
Appearing a ‘goldfish’ is the last thing that I want to occur; gulping the air blankly as though it might feed me the answer
“The name’s Mar’in” he introduced as he endeavoured to sit and I smiled knowingly before commencing conversation. First history then politics, I trilled with unbound exuberance over the topical subjects, whilst ensuring to leave him the adequate time to reply;
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