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Re: Home sweet home
This story is quite interesting! I like how it builds up at the middle and end, but there are some problems that I found. I won't point out all of ...
Oct 27, 2013 -
Re: Chapter 1: A Devilish Sacrifice
I don't think that there should be so many breaks at the beginning. To me, it's like your making that one sentence all lonely and separated from the rest of ...
Sep 30, 2013 -
Re: Spot The Difference: Chapter 01
I really love where this story is going! I also love how Hope can just predict the future. She is one of those mysterious characters that are completely unpredictable. I'm ...
Sep 29, 2013 -
Re: I'm Sorry
This story was very well written and truly shows how sorrowful the character is because of what happened. I really like how you made the sentence 'I made that mistake ...
Sep 29, 2013 -
Re: operation imperial ch-15
There was a couple of things that bothered me throughout this chapter. 1) In this sentence 'I am your nil boy mamma', I think you mean't to put 'lil' instead ...
Sep 29, 2013 -
Re: Zombies Don't Jump...
When I was reading, I found a couple of mistakes that you could easily fix. 1) This sentence, '“Hey,” said Cassie. “Don’t you hear me? Excuse me?” I could feel ...
Sep 29, 2013 -
Re: LAPIS :Chapter 6:
This story has so much suspense that it kept me going. I truly did not want to stop reading! I really like how everything just built up to this crazy ...
Sep 29, 2013 -
Re: Masquerade: Prologue
Dude, this is an awesome story! How could you say your unhappy with it. You practically described everything so well that it makes it seem like this actually happened. I ...
Mar 2, 2013 -
Re: Snowlight - prologe (undecided title)
I really like this so far! You must continue this! There's only one sentence that I think you should change. In this sentence " It was soft and not very ...
Mar 2, 2013 -
Re: A Future set back.
This is completely great! I love it! The setting of this story wasn't clearly stated so I had a very hard time figuring out what was going on. In the ...
Mar 2, 2013
