Writersdomain

*glomps* Thank you so much, CL!

Oh my goodness! *bursts into laughter* I totally just said that Markus had olive eyes and brown eyes in the same paragraph! Thanks for pulling that part out... wow.

Last section of chapter 1 The sky was gray that morning, a thin drizzle falling sporadically. Creiha yawned widely when the bleak light of morning shone through the trees. She ...

I posted the next section of chapter 1, if anyone is interested. Thanks for the comments, everyone, and I changed most of the things you pointed out, Shadow.

I live upon the word 'um' :D

Thanks xanthan! Yes, I see what you mean, especially in the first stanza.

Thank you for looking at this, Snoink, and your questions did help me with this. Danke. So, I edited the parts I agreed needed help. Thanks to all - I ...

No offense taken, Misty. Thank you so much. I'll edit this again and answer blob's last question tomorrow.

Thank you very much blob and poor_imp I edited it Agh, feigningly... typo!! Grrrr

This was really well-done. Your style of writing brings it to life, animates the character's actions. Very well-written and some really awesome dialogue. 'smarter-than-thou' tone... I loved that part.

Thanks so much, Snoink. I agree with you on the 1st paragraph; thanks for helping me clear that up. You sounded confused on the last scene. Klaid isn't the criminal, ...

Thanks, The Silent Aviator. Is there any section or paragraph where the sentences are especially wordy or do you just mean sentences in general?

Wow, now that I see the picture, I'd say your original word, surround, would work better. I never imagined the picture looking like that!

Very sad and very beautiful. I loved your relation between the flower and the girl nicely done

Very cute poem. I loved how the title related to it.