Published December 18, 2005
I was walking down Fay avenue one Halloween night
I turned up a path to the front door of a house
I pushed the doorbell, in hope of an answer
I guess my prayer worked 'cause and old lady with a smile came to the door
"Trick of treat!" I almost screamed, just to get some candy
The lady's smile brightened and she said, "Now, what are you this halloween?"
I thought to myself, Why do you care? and answered, "I'm a giraffe."
She simply smiled again and placed something in my pillow case
"Thank you." I said being polite
"Oh, your very welcome." she responded.
As I skipped down the path to the sidewalk, I took out what she gave me
I was surprised to see a candy cane in my hand
I turned around and yelled, "Candy canes on Halloween?!"
She shrugged, smiled, waved and turned back into her house
Then I figured, well, it is candy
I have to admit it was the best candy I got that night
If I had to describe that lady in one word I'm postive I would chose the word rebel [/i]
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140,567 Literary Works • 673,442 Reviews
I really loved your use of imagery. I could actually see the lady in my head as I was reading your poem. I also loved how you discribed her as a rebel.It made a lot of sence, once you thought about it, and I love poems that make me think.
I love how your poem is written. It's more like a really short story rather than a poem. but I really like the line, "if i had to describe that lady in one word, I'm positive I'd choose rebel." I don't know why I like it, i just do. Really good poem though.
Very cute poem. I loved how the title related to it.
It seems like a story with line breaks more than an actual poem. And it's even stretching the bounds of narrative poetry...
I would change it into prose. It would work much better that way.
It's kind of cool how it's all run together and doesn't really seem like a poem.
I thought to myself, Why do you care? and answered, "I'm a giraffe."
I like that line for some reason.
One question, is the last line part of the poem? Or just a little note thing?
Anyway, interesting. I liked it.
Sounds like something you'd find in a copy of Reader's Digest...I mean this as a complement.