z
  • Home

Young Writers Society



a little flower story

by Amice


A little flower felt a ray of sunshine for the first time.

Responding to the natural attraction flowers are meant to have,

She began to unfold and bloom.

But when the petals peeked out into the light,

A storm quickly rose and beat her into the ground,

Leaving her shaken and afraid.

Before long, the sun was out again, reaching out with beams of light.

The little flower stretched herself to the sky,

Spending her strength in attempt to blossom.

Again, the clouds and rain appeared and overwhelmed the little flower.

Every time, she tried to get up again.

Every time, she was hurt by the storm.

Every time, she died a little more.

The quiet force inside her, the desperate desire to be beautiful and fulfilled, drove the little flower to spend her last feeble effort opening to the sun.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar


Points: 890
Reviews: 3

Donate
Thu Jan 05, 2006 4:34 pm
Goddess of Chaos wrote a review...



I like it tho i think you should describe the situations a bit more.
Depressing...hmm that just leaves more space for imagination, in my opinion optimistic endings put chains on that :D.




User avatar
563 Reviews

Points: 13816
Reviews: 563

Donate
Fri Dec 30, 2005 9:56 pm
Writersdomain says...



Very sad and very beautiful.
I loved your relation between the flower and the girl
nicely done




User avatar
19 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 19

Donate
Fri Nov 04, 2005 11:26 pm
Sonicroyale says...



Oh, how I can say "amen" to the idea of something just "flowing" out after an emotional experience. I'm just glad you're getting better! :D
And for once I've analyzed something between the lines without delving terribly off from the person's original intention! Yay! Haha, I should feel proud; that's like one of the first times that's happened. You must've gotten something of your experience into the poem, if I can pick up on that!

And yes, my name is, in all reality, Tarver. The reason you've never heard it before is probably because it's actually meant to be a last name, but my mother was a rather unique individual, let us say. It's great sometimes to think I'm one of a kind with my name... but the one problem is the name's meaning: bull. Isn't that depressing?

Keep up the writing!

~Bull




User avatar
37 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 37

Donate
Fri Nov 04, 2005 2:18 pm
Amice says...



This little tale is kind of depressing! But that is likely your intention, I'm sure.
I suppose it was... After a terribly emotional experience... I was so upset I thought I would never stop crying... I put my orange gel pen on a piece of blank paper and this little story just... appeared! :P Anyhow... I think I'm getting over it. I don't know why I even put it on the forum.

Is it wrong for me to analyze the peanut butter :?: :) out of it and say that this tale seems symbolic of a young girl wanting to bloom within the world, but the torrential storm of society and angst keep beating her back into her shell?
Wrong? Nah. That isn't too far from the truth. Bravo, you've read between the lines! :) Thanks for the reply

~Tarver
Is your name Tarver? I've never heard that one before...




User avatar
19 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 19

Donate
Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:27 am
Sonicroyale wrote a review...



"Something."


.........Buhaha, just kidding.

This little tale is kind of depressing! But that is likely your intention, I'm sure. Is it wrong for me to analyze the peanut butter out of it and say that this tale seems symbolic of a young girl wanting to bloom within the world, but the torrential storm of society and angst keep beating her back into her shell? If not, you've found the key of a famous writer; ambiguity. :P

~Tarver




User avatar
37 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 37

Donate
Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:07 pm
Amice says...



PLEASE

someone say SOMETHING

?!?!

:shock:





The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.
— Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians