Writersdomain

:D Once again, I was very impressed by this. You have a marvelous style and a great grasp on the English language. Nice job here. Only a few comments: Island-Hopping ...

This wasn't too long, so I got to it earlier than expected. :P I haven't read much of your writing, but from what I've read here, I can see that ...

I would like to second what was said about short, uniform sentences. They make your flow choppy and your writing less interesting. My suggestion is that you get out a ...

Intriguing beginning, lulu. You definitely sucked me in. Your description is pretty good here and your pace seems to be going well. There are just a few things I would ...

Very powerful, Shriek. I enjoyed it and the metaphor was easy to understand yet still held onto that bit of vagueness which made it intriguing. Nicely written, as always. It ...

Wow. That was really cool. Seriously, at first, I was very surprised about Sendoma suddenly going crazy, but then the cursed spell... and that's just plain cool. It will be ...

Very interesting. I am curious to see what Grishtog and Sendoma will do about Makajeh. Because you know how I like Makajeh. :wink: Yay for Magic? I find it very ...

Yay! I read it. It was quite good, and when you didn't have too much repetition, the description was very good. I thought you had a very good balance of ...

Oooh, I really liked this part. A great plot twist in there (and I was right about it being the Aave! Woot!). Beautifully written here and very emotionally involving. I ...

Sendoma's dream was scary. :shock: This was an interesting bit, and I am curious as to who Garak is. Now we come to the heart of it - the thing ...

Interesting. I second all the comments that have already been given. If you mean this to be the beginning of a story, I think we could use a little more ...

Hello there! Your title intrigued me - I couldn't help but to come and read this. :wink: So, this was quite good. I like your writing style - it is ...

This is quite good, Elein! Very mysterious. I enjoyed it immensely. DarkLight found most of the nitpicky things I noticed, but I'll point out just a few... Iolayne flipped the ...

Hey there, Mike! This was an interesting bit, and I think Tierna may be important in the future. :) A few things: Time Period Yes, this is in a fantasy ...

Hello there! :P On the Prologue: Pile of garbage?! :shock: This is not a pile of garbage. I thoroughly enjoyed this; your style is very beautiful, but in a very ...