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Re: A Prologue of sorts?
Oooh, very enjoyable. I adore your style - it seems simple, but at the same time, it shows so much to the reader. Beautiful. I had not sylistic qualms about ...
Jun 14, 2007 -
Re: ....another.
Hello there, Lora! :D So, I have not critiqued poetry in a long time, but I'm trying to get back into it. In essence, you're my guinea pig. :P Imagery ...
Jun 14, 2007 -
Re: A Predicted Legend
Hi there, Betty! Welcome to YWS! :D I'm WD, and I hope you enjoy it here. There's a welcome section where you can introduce yourself and meet people under Community ...
Jun 14, 2007 -
Re: Acerbic
I haven't read (or critiqued for that matter) poetry for a long, long time, but after reading this, I think I might have to sneak back into the poetry forums. ...
Jun 14, 2007 -
Re: chapter one-untitles stuff
Hey there, Lilith! Mmm, interesting. On a first readthrough, it seemed like you have the pace and characterization down (though I'll touch on some suggestions later); therefore, I'm going to ...
Jun 14, 2007 -
Re: Dixby's Home For Special Cases
Ooh, me likes it. :wink: Callisto was developed very well, even in the short time she had. The writing flowed smoothly and your word choice was, as always, superb. There ...
Jun 13, 2007 -
Re: A Castle By the Sea
Beautifully written, Crysi! I love your characters and their reactions to each other. I enjoyed it immensely. I thought your paragraphs were a little odd at times, and that some ...
Jun 13, 2007 -
Re: Another excerpt from my novel
Oooh, a fight. I'm horrid at writing these sorts of things, but this was quite good. Very specific, but not overly telling or confusing. I have but a few suggestions: ...
Jun 13, 2007 -
Re: The Vampire Kiss
Hello there, ShadowStalker This has lots of potential and your writing style is very promising. I second everything that Imp said. The first attempt at this subject i made, I ...
Jun 12, 2007 -
Re: Pastless (Chapter 3)
Finally got to this! :D It was a pleasure to read; I love your writing style. It is so detailed, yet not overboard. I just have a few little nitpicks: ...
Jun 12, 2007 -
Re: Moon Magic.. Chapter Two:Visitor..
Hello there, DragonWriter. ^_^ The pace was much better in this; it did not seem as rushed in regards to pace, and your introspection into Alberic boosted your characterization - ...
Jun 11, 2007 -
Re: In the forest with friends
KAVOR, please PM The Box if you want him to look at your story; this really isn't the place to make a request. :wink: On to the story... Hello there, ...
Jun 10, 2007 -
Re: Cinderella
Hey Wiggy! This was a joy to read! The imagery in here was lovely, and I am awed by the way you conveyed your character's emotions. Unlike those above, I ...
Jun 10, 2007 -
Re: MoonMagic..Chap.1
Yay! You edited! This was a decent start. I like the name Moonshine, and you have potential, but a lot of the things that I mentioned in The Dragon apply ...
Jun 9, 2007 -
Re: Fool's Duel: The Wishing Gate
Hey there, Cal! This was a joy to read. You captured the mood beautifully and I adore your style. Very intriguing. Only a few comments: Fred Maitland followed the shrill ...
Jun 9, 2007
