Wolf

Thanks, you guys! I would change that period to a semicolon (:wink: Well, I kind of want to keep it a period, since the line 'it has no voice' I ...

Wow, thank you all so much! I didn't expect to receive many positive reviews. Azila > I'll take your nit-picks into account as I edit. And yes, I did intend ...

I'm here, as promised! :) ... but since I'm short on time, I didn't read everyone else's critiques. So I may repeat things -- but you'll be getting my fabulous ...

I'm in a tearing hurry -- parents could be home any minute -- but I'll post page 2 ASAP.

Thanks so much, Heather! :) Your tips on characterization really help. I'll keep them in mind as I rewrite! Cheers, Camille xx PS. Sorry the nit-picks haven't been fixed yet; ...

Thanks so much, everyone! :D Saint: *glomps* I really appreciate you taking the time to critique this even though you don't usually for fantasy. All your suggestions and nit-picks will ...

Thank-you all, those were really great critiques! =) I see what you mean as it being cliché and everything, and I'm going to do something about that. I'll be PMing ...

Thanks so much lupis! =) I'm glad you like the edited version better. Hopefully, you'll like the extra-edited version even more! XP Anyway, thanks for the suggestions. I do have ...

Thanks so much, Heather! :D Your suggestions for characterization really helped. I will be working on this more before moving on two part two, and I'll fix the nit-picks as ...

Hey Razor! :D I had a nice long critique for you, but when I tried to post it, I was suddenly logged off and I lost my review! >.< So, ...

YES! :D Zills: thanks so much! That actually was a long review, I think. And helpful. I see what you mean about characterization and I'll just do a little more ...

Okay, so I've done a slight edit. It's not much -- I'm going to be revising it more, making it more obvious as to why Blizzard and Bane hate each ...

Ha, that poem rocks! I agree with what Jabber said about not feeling anything for it (except amusement), but it's hilarious that this was on a bag of grapes. PLOO! ...

Thanks so much, you guys! :D It's so nice to sign on and find some critiques waiting to be read. I'm done the rewrite, but I will be editing it ...

Thanks so much, you guys! I don't know what I would do without you. :) I was actually feeling discouraged about this, because I'd hit a wall in my rewrite: ...