Wherethewindgoes

Salutations. A few suggestions: Whisk me away To a place A long time ago Or ing the near to far future Do you mean "in" in the last line? If ...

Salutations. You have presented an potentially intriguing story here, but I think the main thing you are missing is character. So far, there is nothing about the character to suggest ...

Salutations. A few grammar corrections: I%u2019m not gonna act like what just happen didn%u2019t happen, but you know; I%u2019m a little messed up about it. Firstly, that should be "What ...

Salutations. The writing style here is very good; it's simple, to the point, and doesn't have any grammatical errors. I have only one thought: ...but nearly everyone snickered at my ...

The camps are at peace. Were at peace, I think. Keep tense consistent. A few feet in front of him Jason and Piper were hugging and kissing. This would be ...

Salutations. OK. 1) This is way too fast. One thing happens, then the next; the story jumps from one thing to another without staying on one topic enough to make ...

Salutations. So. 1) I really like the story. A lot of your descriptions were really meaningful, and the emotions were presented well. 2) This doesn't really explain why he jumped ...

Salutations. I like the idea behind this poem, but, as niteowl said, I think it should be expanded upon. Add more detail, use phrases that elicit more meaning. For instance: ...

Salutations. I like the idea presented here, and I think you did a good job with this. I'm just going to review it as a normal piece, and I do ...

Salutations. I see that you have posted this under short story, but it seems more like a poem. It rhymed a few times, and it doesn't really have a beginning ...

Salutations. I like the story you have set up here, with a lot of strings to go off of. I have a few suggestions: It’s coming for me. Bullets were ...

Salutations. I like the idea here, and the character is interesting, but...a bit cliche, I think. However, the ending is not cliche, and the resolution of the character (although there ...

Salutations. I really like the poem, and it contains a lot of emotion. I have a few suggestions: The sky's blue drains my hue Earth's moist soil toils my steps ...

Salutations. As Aqua1213 said, I like how you took the idea and made it fun, from a kid's perspective. A few suggestions: I'll tell you a tale Of a young ...

I think you did a really good job on this. I like the rhyme; however, a few times the flow is interrupted by the syllables, which I will point out ...