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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Hi karribou, I'm Sparkle.
This poem is very relatable and has a very clear message, which I like in a poem. It is pretty but not over the top.
"Create memories
That never were
But now exist
Recreated by imagination"
Maybe instead of recreated, you could use reincarnated? You already used create in that stanza, so different wording might help.
"Give me your knowledge
Give me the power to interpret
Your mystical tales"
"Every aspect of
your tales
entrances us all"
I think these two stanzas are too close to each other to use tales in both of them.
Other than those minor details, I really loved this poem. I hope this helped!
Keep writing!
Salutations.
A few suggestions:
Do you mean "in" in the last line? If so, I think that could be worded better. "A long time ago/or in the near or far future" doesn't really sound as good as it could.
Perhaps use a word other than "recreate", since "create" was just used
I think "tales" was just used a stanza ago; perhaps use a different word.
I really like this stanza.
Well, all in all, this was really good, sort of getting to the core of what a story means. The only things that could be improved on, I think, are word choice and punctuation. The word choice at times seemed a bit, say, simple? I think some of it could be written using words that convey more meaning.
The punctuation here was a bit odd, because you generally used commas when they were necessary, but only used a period once. If you punctuate, I would suggest to punctuate everything, as opposed to just some of it.
Good job, and good luck with any other poems!
Hi! karribou..
You made a cute way of describing a book. It's contents, message and what it gives you. How it helps in your everyday life and how it unfolds mysteries that you did not know. How precious and how magical it is. Thus, how it affects our perception..
Keep going..
ll
U
Hi there.
I really enjoyed this. I think you accurately described what you were feeling, and your message cam through loud and clear. The last lines really finish the poem off nicely. They leave a lasting impression on the reader and effectively sum up the poem and bring it full circle.
Thanks for writing and posting this. If you ever need anything else reviewed, let me know.
- Penprincess
A great piece!You had correct wording for your descriptions. I love traditional words. I was "whisked away" by the beauty.It was how i felt about books word for word.There was not many noticeable mistakes and i enjoyed the flow. It lead me to become nostalgic about books.
very good i loved it <3 :*