VivielTwixt

Gosh, you're fast. Nice work overall. Writing Style You've kept consistent with your style. That's good. You've also added more descriptions (loved how you described Pelly's hair). You also gave ...

Here I am. Before I start reviewing let me say this, I honestly enjoyed reading your story and I don't say that for every story. The errors you have here ...

I disagree with the previous posts, but I'm no poetry buff so what do I know? I'm going to say it anyway. I loved it. It flowed like a song ...

This is beautiful, but too short. They fall in love too quickly and the the readers don't get enough time to understand why Racheal sees sadness in Milen and why ...

Hey, me again. And the review begins.. You don't need to tell us the last names. You already did that earlier. The girls should freak out more about getting the ...

I agree with Racheal. Delete the Prologue or use it for some sort of blurb. Nice story. Definitely has a catch. The main thing I would change would be when ...

Okay. I'm so confused. Who are these people? Are they her friends? siblings? or something else? And where are they? You're moving too quickly without giving enough background information. Maybe ...

Enigma hit the main points. It seems like you may have an interesting mystery here, but the storytelling needs to improve. Don't describe all her friends in one paragraph. Show ...

Wow. In think this was the best thing I've read on here. No, strike that. This is the best thing I've read on here. I loved that when I was ...

Nice. Overall, I liked it. Your writing style has potential, but you must pay attention to your grammar. I think when you write, you write too fast to notice what ...

This story was spooky and weird. If there was a Horror section on YWS, this would definitely be placed there. Actually, since it's about the supernatural I think you can ...

Clever how you made it seem like a wedding when it really was a funeral. I think that's why I didn't really understand or feel the emotions until the end. ...

Nice. I actually enjoyed this, despite the bubbliness of it. It's almost too happy, but I guess that was the point. I loved your descriptions and figurative language (the thing ...

Basically everything that needs to be said was already said. I like this story, but the end was too dramatic. Here's a few nitpicks: “Where is your brother, Samantha? Why ...

Plot I agree with LexiconDevil about having a point to your story. After I finished it, I was like, okay, so the point of this was what? Was anything resolved? ...