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Re: I fail as a boyfriend
Yams here for a review! This feels like a mess. There's no apparent stanzas in this and there's no structure to it. I don't know if it's just me and ...
May 22, 2016 -
Re: ......
This is Yams here for a review! I kind of felt like this was a passive aggressive attack on homosexuality rather than an actual story. If the point of the ...
Apr 24, 2016 -
Re: A Happy Ending?
This is Yams here for a review! First thing I noticed is that this was near the end of the Ming dynasty but the narration feels really modern. The dialogue ...
Mar 4, 2016 -
Re: You Can Come to Me (Deicated to Em101Cats)
This is Yams here for a review! The poem has a lot of repetition though you stopped the style you were writing in when it hit the 5th paragraph but ...
Mar 3, 2016 -
Re: Elodie Bones: Chapter 1: 9 Years Later
This is Yams here for a review! This felt like filler and it's only in the first chapter. Sure, it's introducing the problem and all, but that's at the way ...
Mar 2, 2016 -
Re: Do Not Touch the Display
This is Yams here for a review! The imagery is what really stood out for me. The first stanza has a lot of that, and it rocks. The rest of ...
Mar 1, 2016 -
Re: It's a Big World
This is Yams here for a review! The first issue I have to address with this poem is the rhyming. I didn't feel like you needed to have it in ...
Feb 29, 2016 -
Re: In the Absence of Stars - 2.1
This is Yams here for a review on Review Day! Disclaimer: I am a complete idiot. My thoughts are probably not going to help but: Wouldn't Seven be utterly destroyed ...
Feb 28, 2016 -
Re: The Eternal Empire (Prologue)
This is Yams here for a review on Review Day! The first thing I mention is that there's a thing before chapter one that seems to be a prologue. You ...
Feb 28, 2016 -
Re: Society's Mind: Classes, Classes, Classes
This is Yams here for a review on Review Day! As the reader I'm assuming Society isn't actually a real person and is just Society itself which is one of ...
Feb 28, 2016 -
Re: Living Nightmare Chapter three
This is Yams here for a review on Review Day! It was now about eleven o clock at night, and I was just crawling into bed. I pulled up the ...
Feb 28, 2016 -
Re: Living Nightmare Chapter two
This is Yams here for a review! You ended the first "chapter" off in an awkward place it felt so starting in here just feels like a continuation of that ...
Feb 26, 2016 -
Re: In the Hands of Six - Prologue
This is Yams here for a review! I'm going to get on with my main issue that I noticed first. Your way of description and vocabulary you use, doesn't really ...
Feb 25, 2016 -
Re: Living Nightmare Chapter One
This is Yams here for a review! Great it's summer vacation and I'm stuck doing nothing for mostly the whole summer. Hi, let me introduce myself. My name is Annabelle ...
Feb 24, 2016 -
Re: I Told Her I Loved Her on the Fourth of July
This is Yams here for a review! The first two lines rhymed well, and it made them stronger. So why didn't you rhyme with the all of the lines? I ...
Feb 23, 2016