In the Absence of Stars - 2.1

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Virgil
Review
Virgil wrote a review · Sun Feb 28, 2016 5:00 pm

This is Yams here for a review on Review Day!

Disclaimer: I am a complete idiot.

My thoughts are probably not going to help but: Wouldn't Seven be utterly destroyed that she had shot Boyfriend Number Three at all? She isn't some serial killer, so it would affect her more than you're showing, I think. Is she able to even talk to Cat after what happened? I'm just wondering if Seven is the type of person that can partially get rid of it so easily. I'm just thinking it would haunt her more. Destroy her to where she has to build herself back up.

Those are some of my thoughts on Seven killing Boyfriend Number Three and the affects, since I don't think she's completely heartless. Can she be over with that so quickly? Like, she may think she is, but I think it wouldn't be that easy to get rid of that.

The conversation with Cat was nice as it took a break from Seven's hurt even though she still kept thinking about him throughout the whole conversation.

Still a great chapter as always, have a great day!

You'll see how deeply it affects Seven in future parts, trust me, haha.

Seven has been around death all her life, so this part is focused more on the shock than the horror. Horror comes later.

Thanks, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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felistia
Review

Hi Jericho, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful review day. :D

Story: Okay now that was just sad. I didn't want Boy friend number 3 to die. Gahhh. Oh well. So it looks like you are going to expand on the new character Cat. I can't what to see how that goes. I am still not sure where this plot is going, but it is quite interesting at the moment. :D

Characters: I am so glad that you gave even more back ground on the main character since it really helps me connect to her and her past. I look forward to learning a bit more about Cat and possibly his sister and maybe even Boy friend number 3. I can see that you are building on the characters in a nice, steady manner. :D

Description: Your description wasn't as good this time around, but I don't think the chapter really needs it since you are mostly providing back story and emotional character development. I do think that you could describe the characters a bit here and there, especially Cat's sister. Make her out to be extremely menacing. :D

Small mistakes: I can't find any mistakes this time around. :D

Overall it was another great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D

Thank you very much again!

Honestly, killing Page is one of those things I've never wanted to do particularly, but it's essential to Seven's character growth. (We salute thee, Page.)

Glad you enjoyed, as always!



A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.
— Franz Kafka