VampireBloodrace

Awwww :cry: . I liked this piece a whole ton!!! And it was so sad! Your very good at showing action in your stories and I liked how you started ...

A purple v-neck jumper hugged my non-existent curves, and a pair of jet-black skinny jeans hung loosely on my small hips and even smaller legs, I’d just been able to ...

I was sleeping peacefully in my room two stories above ground when I was awoken by a strange, but nonetheless familiar, sound. It was the clicking of a dolphin. I’d ...

Oh, wow! I absolutely LOVED reading this! Its so realistic. :D :D There are a few things though. (Lol, no story is perfect unfortunately :? ) "Erm..." I mumbled, unable ...

Wow! This was really a very interesting piece! The him liking her was was a little confusing, though......WHY does he suddenly turn out to be in love with her? It ...

Wow! I really love it! It's so interesting! I love how you put in a good amount of great detail - just enough to have good descriptions and not to ...

Sorry there isnt' much to critique, but it seems as though everyone has pointed everything out! I really like the idea of the Salem Witch Trials. It's rather ironic since ...

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I've never seen anyone who could write a fanfiction so well! And also the emotion and atmosphere was just amazing! Great way of portraying what happens after the war ...

It's a good beginning and you are getting that atmosphere started. I agree with the others - it's too CHEESY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When she got there, she found that Kitsune was there, too, but she was crying. I'd say you should get rid of the comma after 'there'. I don't know if ...

She fell into a heap on the ground, only to be picked up again by her neck again. Lol, too many agains!!!!!! Your readers will drown with this many!!! "You ...

"Kularoka was a murder, and a damn good one at that. Lol, I think you meant to put 'murderer'. Not 'murder' I think it's good!!!! Of course, like you, I ...

Ok so, its really late and I only got a tiny fraction of critique done! There will be more to come, so be ready! I just wanted to let you ...

Very deep thought. I really like this poem, as it shows us what we should be grateful about and what others do not have. It reminds us that there are ...

Just like everyone else- I found this to be really sweet. It's great that you're girlfriend had a guy like you. You probably don't always give her poems, but maybe ...