Those blue eyes

by grimy89098

Published September 19, 2008

In Poetry

I made this to try lift the spirits of my gf,
she felt a bit depressed so i wrote this

Those blue eyes,
those beautiful eyes,
they swallow my gaze.
But I ask why,
why are they clouded with pain?
I devote myself to clearing that misery,
I ask myself how?
But I will try,
try as i can, my love.

Comments & reviews · 14
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Musicaloo7311
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Musicaloo7311 commented Comment · Mar 7, 2009

I love this! It's great and has a wonderful meaning. What a sweet guy to write his girlfriend poetry... :)

ThunderAndLightning wrote a review Review · Mar 7, 2009

That reminds me of Valentine's day. There was this cardboard box where you put the cards in, right? I put five in to the same person. And every single one was different. So the next day the prefects gave them out and all that. Something annoying was that I didn't get any cards, but even worse, the person I sent the cards to ended up saying (can't remember why) that she hated me.

And no, I don't know why this poem reminded me of that.

Back to the poem... that was short, but in my opinion, making it longer would have spoiled it. Well done! And that's really sweet, writing a poem to your girlfriend that depressed.

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picklebuddy7 Comment
picklebuddy7 commented Comment · Mar 7, 2009

Omg, I know this is, like, an old poem, but I luff it!!!
So sweet! Makes me wish any one of my ex's wld've written me something!
xD

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vixeyt
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vixeyt commented Comment · Oct 10, 2008

That was so sweet it made me smile. It may only have been a few lines but it was still really good, lots of feeling in it.

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lshryock2
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lshryock2 wrote a review Review · Oct 10, 2008

i love this
its kinda ironic since i had a horrible day today
and when i was reading this it reminded me of how my friend was trying to cheer me up
:D great job

VampireBloodrace wrote a review Review · Oct 9, 2008

Just like everyone else- I found this to be really sweet. It's great that you're girlfriend had a guy like you. You probably don't always give her poems, but maybe you do, either way, this was a very nice thing to do. I don't know many guys like that; actually I don't know ANY guys that are like that. Keep it up!

I really liked this poem. Made for your girlfriend or not. :D

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xGraceex
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xGraceex commented Comment · Oct 8, 2008

So cute! i really liked it, just the sort of poem a girl likes to hear :D

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StarDuster
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StarDuster commented Comment · Oct 8, 2008

Awww.. This is so sweet. I really loved it.
What better way to cheer her up? I bet she really really enjoyed it!
I have no complaints. How can you find anything wrong with a thing like this???

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grimy89098
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grimy89098 commented Comment · Sep 20, 2008

thanks everyone :D

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silverSUNLIGHTx
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silverSUNLIGHTx commented Comment · Sep 20, 2008

Ah, I love you!
I want a boyfriend that writes me poetry when I'm sad.
And not the crappy kind that can't really pass as real poetry.
But the sweet, melodic kind.
Good Job. :]

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vox nihili
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vox nihili commented Comment · Sep 19, 2008

If I was your girlfriend, I'd be touched. It's great that you utilize the use of simple language, but in such a way that it conveys a strong message.

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crimson_mcr Comment
crimson_mcr commented Comment · Sep 19, 2008

this is very good, so nice you wrote it for her, thats so sweet of you.


hehehehe "they swallow my gaze" so good XD

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crimson_mcr Comment
crimson_mcr commented Comment · Sep 19, 2008

its beautiful.



"Growing up isn't the problem... forgetting is."
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince