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UnderestimatedSmiles

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Deleted

    I just want to say your series is absolutely positively amazing! I could see this being published, no joke. The diction is high up yet not too elegant, which is ...

    Jan 8, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, General Re: Corruption - Prologue

    I have only one critique, and it may be kind of confusing: You are using too much detail with things, like in your first paragraph about the ceiling fan and ...

    Aug 11, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: The Chaos (Chapter four)

    Pretty good story... not many critiques, if any, but one problem that seemed to have fixed with your story is that you have slowed things down a bit, though some ...

    Aug 2, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Ultamite Chapter 7: Good, Bad, or C.O.R.E?

    I'm a bit confused with this entire chapter, personally. So, first Vlora was trying to kill him or something, then the beautiful woman, and now Riley wakes up with Vlora ...

    Jul 27, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Ultamite Chapter 6: The Journey

    Just a few critiques: a few read overs will correct these problems, but there are some misspellings of a few words (such as some 'to's could be 'too's, and yes, ...

    Jul 27, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Ultamite Chapter 4: The End of Truth

    Okay, so in the last parts when the character starts saying "Now I am here writing this..." that transition is a little confusing but if you could make that slightly ...

    Jul 27, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: please delete post

    As she took her child in her arms, she frowned at the girl, saying “You have been up here wasting time all morning. It isn’t raining very hard now—go tend ...

    Jul 26, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: This Summer - Chapter Two

    Hey Austenite! Okay, love your story! I haven't read a good Romance story in a while, and when I have, they were all corny. Okay, I just have one critique: ...

    Jul 25, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: The Chaos (Chapter one)

    It was good, but still needs some work. I think the two comments above got it all mostly, but for me, I have a few things. One, what was the ...

    Jul 7, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Flickering Flame--Chapter 1

    [quote="Apple"] Chapter 1~ "Don’t blame yourself for your family’s death Ava! None of the incidents that occurred is your fault.” Carla’s bronze hair fell into her eyes as she stared ...

    Apr 4, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Summer Camp - Chapter 1

    I thought it was awesome! I have to disagree with some readers; the name of Number 129 is cool, and very fitting. I've written tiny things that I haven't posted ...

    Mar 13, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Pounce

    Loved this story! I couldn't find anything wrong with it... so I'll just give you my opinion! It's mysterious... and I think its wickedly awesome! (wickedly as in cool)! Keep ...

    Mar 13, 2010
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Please review, it's an excerpt from my story

    [quote="13timmy24"]He stumbled into his home, his head was now buzzing with thoughts.  Guilt, shame, stupidity, they all bore their marks on him.  He yanked open a cupboard door and pulled ...

    Mar 13, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Limitless: Chapter One (rated 12+ for fantasy and violence)

    I thought it was awesome, GoldenQuill. Very curious and interested in this story... keep up the good work! :elephant: :smt005 :smt005 :smt001 :smt002

    Mar 8, 2010


But answer me this: how can a story end happily if there is no love?
— Kate DiCamillo, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane