Twit

Lumme. Pity party in full swing here. Seriously, I don't know what to say about either of you. Isn't this kind of stuff supposed to be private? (If you both ...

Oh man, the rewrites and the chapter numbers are making this all confusing. Have I said this before? Sorry, anyway, the courtroom scenes sound very prof. Already I dislike Ortega. ...

Okay, the first lines set tiny little alarm bells ringng. This looks disturbingly like a LOTR-esque story. Wargs are direct from LOTR, dwarfs I suppose you can get away with ...

Ugh, I don't get or like this at all. And the title is a factual error. A positive note is that the imagery is very strong, and the language evokes ...

Um . . . isn't the point of a crit supposed to be constructive and helpful? Not crushing and biting. I accept that you people know a lot about how ...

Way cool! Atlantis?? But the pegasi . . . *sulks* Rats. Still, the author knows best. No great errors in here - Sworddance has pointed them out, so once again, ...

Hey, I like Mekare. Phlegmatic. In a nice way. And, oh the DRAMA!!! “Lockegeo Bethazel . ” rumbled Mekare, That should be a comma. The Geezer bowed as well as ...

Pegasi? Oh good! If it's what I think it is: plural of pegasus and not something else. I like Pegasi. :D I must confess I'm getting a little confused with ...

Sworddance has dun most of the critiquing, so there's nothing left for me to do, 'cept say that this was another good chapter - with one exception. It's what Ofour ...

Third crit!..... ...Except that it isn't a very good crit. At this stage, all I want to do is read and not look out for mistakes. Sorry, but it does ...

Cool! :) I just started reading this, and it's great!! :D :D No criticism - there's hardly any to be made, and Ofour's dunnit all already. *scuttles off to read ...

Yeah, it's like a Jennifer Saunders Fairy Godmother! :D Really funny - I love parodies like this! Yep, poofy blue dress, wand, even the darned little wings were all in ...

Good! Normally I don't like second person, but this was good, wasn't too patronizing. But ALL your stuff is so dark and distuuuuuuurbing ..... Getting murdered in second person, that's ...

Eek, this is rather confusing. It was bad enough with you having two chapters numbered the same. Can't you make it a bit simpler? :wink: Hope you put the next ...

I liked it...:D It didn't seem to have a fixed structure, but perhaps that doesn't matter. I like the way you put the dragons in a contrast to the humans ...