Twit

Nice; I like your poetry. :D The middle stanza seems a bit out of sorts with the rest of the poem. The first and third deal with the dagger image, ...

Very dramatic. :) It's good, but a few spelling mistakes and such. Your ivory skin shined in the moon light Shined = shone I'm a herione but I have no ...

Gee. Now of all the stupid things I've done, I don't think sticking batteries up my nose has been one of them. Eating woodlice, sure. Batteries? Nope. Nothing to crit ...

Pretty good. :) Romance, though... Well, anyway. :roll: For she knew in her heart he would never be hers Hers = her's You need more punctuation. You don't have any ...

Good! Yes, I think it should be moved to Narrative. Drop a Mod a PM. It read more like a story than anything, which might make some people say you ...

You're welcome. ^_^ First of all, weird spacing. Second, this was well written and interesting! :D Third, Through the split doors strode a man, tall, lithe and [s]deft[/s]; If he ...

Well, no comment on subject matter, but this was very well written. Especially this bit: She wraps herself around me in what she probably thinks is a hug, but it ...

The last line was out of synch with the rest of the poem. Before it was all "oh woe is me" and the last line was "ah well, have fun ...

Nice! And I don't properally get it, so it must be good. :wink: I liked this bit best: You are the plant that the sun has dried out, the unwashed ...

I can't tell you how to make it better, but I liked the first one best. Crushing their bones with the tide? Would sand come up and eat the children, ...

"Weary traveler," called she most far Far = fair? my fath -shaken fingers. Fath = faith? It's pretty good, but so swimming in pretty language, that it drowns my understanding. ...

I like the first one heaps! It was really nice, and I much prefer the first first line, since a beak can't slip around a heart. :roll: But the first ...

What is this a fanfic of? Space this out first. Text Chi, as the Baroness says. Leave a line between each paragraph, and each bit of dialogue. No face was ...

LOL, very funny!! :lol: :lol: Nice rhymes - nothing constructive, but I did like this!!

Space this out; you'll attract far more readers. What's with these thingies? The ancient Egyptians called it the “River of Life€ It's good though, from what I've seen, that it's ...