Twit

Hi! So, this is kind of different. But it left me a bit cold. This could be just me - I'm not the most massive short story fan out there ...

Hi! Rabid feminist here to read your piece! ^_^ What to look for in a woman? Does the Ring fit flawlessly? Capitalising "ring" here totally made me think that this ...

Hello! With every step she took , the gazes of passersby hung on her, driving her pulse and crawling over her exposed skin. Comma. Inside was dark and hot. Anastasia ...

Hi Kate98! I was nine when the Babylonians came. I used to tell people they came out of nowhere, but I know better now. Everyone was expecting them. I was ...

Hi StoryWeaver! Before you knew about most other things, you knew about those floppy-eared creatures with dumb, bloated eyes and lips that sagged and lolled like a lazy gum-chewer’s. This ...

Hi! K, so I've a feeling you're not really looking for crazy serious criticism on this... :) However, the thing about using randomness as humour is that it's often much ...

Hi Stella! So on that fateful day – the day her world ended, she thought she should wear it. Not sure about the punctuation here? I think ‘the day her ...

Hi Lauren! Anastasia Gray was lost. I know it’s not your fault at all, but the name instantly reminded me of Fifty Shades of Grey. The low murmur of men’s ...

Hi Horrendous! (Cool name, lol) Welcome to YWS! To be honest--and I'm not trying to be mean, just truthful--this bored me. This could be just me, but while I really ...

Hi GreenLight! Sorry for the delay. :) James's heart pounded against his chest with pulsating curses on her ; on Olivia. ‘With pulsating curses on her’ doesn’t make sense. ‘Pulsating’ ...

Hi smanske! I gripped the knife tightly in my hand. Despite having done this before, my heart pounded and I could feel my blood pumping adrenaline through my veins, sending ...

Hi Trinidian! I never knew her real name and it is quite likely that she did have one, though I never heard her called anything but Gold Teeth. The first ...

Hi DarkKnight! This is very short, but I like the sentiment behind it. The language is a bit bland--lamps and stars to describe light have all been used before, and ...

Hi Ayumi! The blood work came back good. ‘Came back good’ sounds a bit awkward. But there’s still something unknown inside me, something that the doctor is concerned about; the ...

Skinzette! Disregarding his atrocious behaviour at Robbie’s party, it’s not anything he’s done, but there’s just something about him that makes me wary. This is kinda contradictory; like youâ€