Tríona

I really liked it. :P It's so descriptive that you can almost see the events unfold before your eyes. And it has just the right amount of emotion to be ...

This was a nice story. :wink: I quite liked the idea behind it. However I think a bit more description in needed. There are one or two typos in the ...

Your description in the first paragraph is fantastic! :D I loved the: - He looked upon the road as it dipped, swelled, bounded over countless bridges and sidled the mighty ...

I think that the first letter in each line should be a capital letter - but this is only insignificant nit -picking. :wink: I enjoyed it ! It was really ...

Hey to the Newbie!! :) A nice, quick, flowing short story. However I felt it lacked emotion at times and a bit more description wouldn't have done it any harm ...

:D I seriously liked it!! I would love to hear it sung!! :P There is nothing much to nit-pick about - It's really good. :wink: My favourite part was: fifteen ...

Real deep! :P Its almost as if you are undergoing a bitter battle within yourself and this is so....... * lost for words* Really nice. Loved - Accept this humble ...

:lol: He he he :lol: Funny!! I liked it (except for the "Can be solved with a pill if taken soon enough" part which is dark and may upset some ...

I liked it! It was really sad though :cry: . Just a question - was it his mother that is speaking in the second half of the piece? :-k Maybe ...

:-k Erm... I luuurve description but I kinda found it confusing when you started using all the body jargon.:oops: I found myself glossing over all these parts and then getting ...

:D I liked the flow of the story - it seemed effortless and natural. However, I would agree with the comments above about paragraphing, emotion etc. I do think that ...

:) It's nice....... but I think that the rhyming was forced at times- Was gone With your song I think it might flow better if "With your song " was ...

I quite liked it actually. :) However you forgot to capatilise the letter "i" in a number of places. I’m 8 my birthday was last month, 23rd of November. I ...

:shock: :lol: :lol: He he he ! Really funny - bizare - but funny!

It's good - but like Noxious said it does get a bit confusing at times. Grammaticaly its a bit off also. I said - " Don't call her insane" Her ...