Truly_Alone8

O-okay. There were some spelling mistakes in there, so I'd check it over again. But it was really interesting... I'd like to know why the kid was holding the gun. ...

This beginning was interesting... though there are a lot of things you could have edited. Like somebody previously mentioned, going slower and adding more description would capture the reader's attent

It's not bad... don't put yourself down like that. It's very interesting... I've never heard of anybody else making their characters have their own personal lamp. Dani's voice came through ...