Trident

Hi again, some more thoughts here: Hidden in the cupboard under the stairs, the gun shots echoed through the quieting house as a family of seven dropped to the ground, ...

Hello 525sparkle, welcome to YWS. Here are a few of my thoughts: I stood up for you while others ignored when you were forced to the ground Where I think ...

Hello MillarS, this was very enjoyable to read. Here are my thoughts on how to make it stronger: It's been three weeks now, and she still sits on that same ...

Hi Chelbig695, welcome to the site. I'm glad you posted some work. Here are a few of my thoughts on this poem: Another day I live With bountiful happiness But ...

Hi Izzykat, Yes, this is too short to really do anything with, but I will try to give you a little advice at the very least. It's a little ditty ...

Hi Persy, this is interesting. Here are some thoughts: I feel dried out and tired like forests are tired, I enjoyed this opening immensely. It sort of gives me that ...

Hi drinkonthemoon, here are some of my thoughts: If I am to tell you a story now, we must first establish some ground rules. I am the storyteller and you ...

Hi WritingWolf, my thoughts here: There is a difference between stating "art is a mirror" and then defending the argument and the idea of interpreting art. Since a mirror shows ...

Hello again! Here we go: When action is lacking Ironically, in your last chapter there were plenty of scenes that showed action, but this chpater is almost primarily exposition. There ...

Hi kayfortnight, here are some of my thoughts: I decided that we needed to compile our various perceptions of the events from September 1, 2020, to January 1, 2021. We ...

Hi magpie, really interesting stuff. Here are my thoughts: You left behind vestiges of your obsession; Hm. As a start not very strong. I mean, 'vestiges' here isn't very inspired ...

Hi indieeloise, a few of my thoughts for what they're worth: Late at night, I line up my muse with the stars. I’ll pierce each constellation with a needle - ...

Hello littlemonkeygirl, welcome to YWS! I'll just try to give a few pointers here: He left just as he came But oh, what a difference did he make! For though ...

Hello ongoeslife, here are a few of my thoughts for you to mull over: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I understand now... You need to be really careful not ...

Hi jolene15, a few thoughts here: It feels as though you have some sort of beat poetry, or stream-of-consciousness goodness going on here. What's good about that type of poetry ...