Tiaradyson

Thank you! I took everyone's advice and rewrote it! But I didn't post the new writing Thank u

Is screenplays something that helps you?!

Yeah, that's what I mean. He did it like that as well. Made it it's own paragraph and sentence.

Well I decided to mimic one of my favorite author's writings, and one thing he did was say, "he gasped."

I am not understanding the true fiction story, is some of it real or something? By the way this is so disturbing, I hope it's not true. I hate when ...

I believe these are fragments, " captain started to worry. His king had lost control. Ready or not he needed to step in." the dialogue was fantastic, seemed very life ...

Btw the ending was perfect!

This chapter is from the middle of one of my other chapters, lately I haven't been doing so well with my grammar and it's been making my work look badly.. ...

Thank you so much for all that advice! I really need some help LOL

I wish I could point out my own grammatical errors, it sounds like I got a million of them lol Thanks for the help

Thank you and I fixed my errors

Not everyone is into cheesy movies ^_^

Sure can! and yes it's a time traveling watch. It's only valuable when someone knows what it can do, but if they don't. It doesn't look valuable.

Thank you, and by porcelain walls, I mean he was still in the bath tub.

That was perfect, thanks for catching my misspells and explaining some things to me. Thank you ^_^