TheTruthLiesWithin

Hey there July! First for the title, I would think breathe would come before live? It's just a suggestion but I think 'Breathe, Live and Die', sounds better in a ...

-Does the dialogue seem realistic/plausible to you? Any suggestions on how to fix what sounds forced or odd? The dialogue, for me was a bit awkward because almost all of ...

Izzy said it all, you need to review this story. The chat lingo is okay to use as dialogue if it fits for the characters and their personalities because that's ...

Hey CharlotteGrace :) I'll start with the unpleasant things first, The walls were colored a pale yellow, and the furniture were made of brown leather. 'Colored' was misspelled and it ...

Hey there :) I have not read the other chapters of this piece but I swear I will. This is very good, you write beautifully and explain everything well, even ...

Lying instead of the palace behind these gates, a laboratory , where acts of horror committed, where sounds of torture scream from the silent walls of this place. Experiments into ...

I was hoping Harper wouldn’t try to set something up afterward and have everyone hang out because I just wanted to go home and sit. 'After words' would mean after ...

Hello Rainstorm :) I'll start with the unpleasent first... just some things I noticed that you should take a look at. It had also been a while since he felt ...

This is a beautiful poem. The rhymes are pretty good and you use the right words for what you want to say, it's simple and straight to the point. My ...

Hey there! I'll start with some nitpicks, A young boy whipped through the forest faster than the icy winter breeze. Chilly winds chased him as he sprinted across the ice-coated ...

Hello Dragon :) I just want to point out that the 'O father' and 'O son' became a bit annoying because you repeat them quite a bit. In the first ...

Hello there Whitehorse :) Truth here to review! I'll start with the unpleasent things first to get it off the way. Their voice were suddenly heard as they talked in ...

Hello Ofir! It's been a while since I've reviewed, pardon my rustiness. I'll start with some little things I noticed. Except in woolen hats ; they make my hair puffy ...

Hey Dannie :) I really loved this poem. The flow is great, the vocabulary is rich and the rhymes don't seem forced. I can relate to this a lot but ...

Hello there :) I loved this piece. The emotions in it were very intense and, even if it's short, we get into it. The overall story is a bit blurry ...