TheForgottenAuthor

Thank you :) To clear things up: He doesn't want to 'hurt her' per se, he wants to 'love her'. He's the typical psycho antagonist. :) When I put up ...

Thank you for the critiques! I wanted the poem to be slightly confusing, as the narrator is confused. She feels trapped in his gaze, in his arms, but at the ...

I'm confused...What exactly is happening here? Who is talking? This seems like a great start to a poem, but it's way too simplistic. The rhyme scheme was pretty consistent though.

Thanks everybody! I really needed the critiques, just because this is a huge 100 point assignment and I really want a good score. So I shall fix those errors and ...

I agree, this poem is very easy to relate to. I actually like it. With a few corrections (Ela's is great advice) it will be a great poem!

I really like this. ^^ Its really cute, and I love the word choice. I agree with Finito, you should change the "be" to "been", but other than that I ...

I have some mixed feelings on this poem. You bring up some really good points, but the whole poem in general is really repetitive, which makes it kind of dull. ...

I think the title should be something along the lines of "Her Eyes" or something similar. I agree with lilc, you have some corrections to make, but once you fix ...

This was pretty good...There's nothing more to say, everyone has already said all of the things wrong with it, so I'm just going to say good job!

Thanks, guys! Actually, this scene in the story actually happened, and the teacher...that's her personality. I tried to channel her real personality into the story, it just made the story ...

OH! Well I have heard of someone call teeth pearly whites, just not...pearls... Ok, I get it now!!! *laughs*

Thank you everyone! The "our" suggestion made a good point...and I had originally made it "the" but I wanted to make it sound like it was both his and my ...

Yeah, I was going to say something about "closure" and "good-bye" and "We'll be together again soon", but I didnt want this to sound like an emo "I"m gonna go ...

This si pretty good! It just needs a little revision here and there, but other than that, this was really good! Keep it up!

this was good! So true. But anyways, a little of it sounded a bit choppy, but other than that...good job!